BEFORE YOU BAKE
Being prepared and organized is essential when creating a tier cake. Imagine having baked and decorated all the cakes for your design only to discover at the reception hall that the tiers and plates don't fit on the stand! Because a tier cake design can be adjusted to serve as few as 20 and as many as 400 people, you'll want to be sure your cake set-up will work without a hitch. This means doing a dry run of your cake construction.
To do your dry run, get all your construction pieces together-pans, plates, pillars, stand, even the fountain and stairs if your design calls for them. Now assemble the parts as they will appear on the finished cake. This way you can be sure you have the correct size plates and boards for your cakes and that your stairs or flower holder rings will fit properly in the set-up. This is especially helpful if you have to cut your cake boards for specialty shapes like petals or ovals. You can be certain that you've cut to the right size for the cake.
BAKING
Concentrate on three factors when baking and preparing your cakes for decorating:
• Perfect light golden brown color
• Precisely level top and bottom
• Smooth, crumb-free surface.
1. Prepare the pans. Thoroughly grease pans using Wilton Cake Release, applied with a pastry brush. Cake Release eliminates the need to grease and flour pans and releases cakes perfectly, without crumbs. You may also grease pans using solid vegetable shortening; sprinkle inside the pan with about 2 Tablespoons flour and shake so that flour covers all greased surfaces. Turn pan upside down to remove excess flour.
2. Fill the pans. Any cake mix or recipe will work, but for fondant-covered cakes you may want to use a firmer cake, such as pound cake. When baking in Wilton pans, use these recommended batter amounts. It helps to clip Wilton Bake-Even Strips on the outside of pan before baking to keep cakes level and reduce cracking or crowning. Pour in the batter, filling pan about 1/2 to 2/3 full. Tap filled pans lightly on a countertop to reduce air bubbles in the batter.
3. Bake cakes on middle rack of a preheated oven for time specified in recipe. To test whether a cake is done, insert a toothpick or cake tester near center and remove. If tip is clean, cake is done. Set cakes in pans on wire racks to cool for 10 minutes. To unmold cake, place a cooling rack against the cake and turn both rack and pan over. Flip back to place on cake board. Lift pan off carefully; let cool at least one hour. Brush off any loose crumbs before icing.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Selecting Your Wedding Cake
Everyone looks forward to the moment when the bride and groom take center stage to cut the cake. The band strikes that familiar refrain, conversations come to a halt, and the room stills to witness a ritual that in itself has produced many a tradition and superstition.
Wedding cakes have become as varied as the ceremonies. No longer restricted to white vanilla cake with a plastic bride and groom smiling from the top tier, today's confections run the gamut of flavor and decoration. From chocolate and spice to Swarovski's crystal swans cake topper, there is something to suit every palate, and ever style.
The most important consideration to make when selecting your cake is personality -- this cake symbolizes you and your fiance's union, and should be a "marriage" of your favorite tastes and decorations.
Cake flavors that are gaining popularity include chocolate, spice, poppy seed, carrot, Grand Marnier, and even cheesecake. Still, the wonderful thing about wedding cakes in the 1990's is that any flavor is possible, as well as acceptable.
Frosting and filling flavors are also straying from the traditional. Fillings provide the most variety, since they can include the more ordinary chocolate fudge or lemon mousse, but also extend through the range of fruit flavors possible in vari ous gelees and preserves. If you can't decide on one filling flavor, choose one for each layer!
Possibilities are widening in the shapes of wedding cakes, also. While tiers are still popular, many couples find the plastic pillars that separate them tacky. Many bakers will work with your florist to decorate the cake, and together they can devise some cascading fresh flower decorations that wind around the pillars and look very elegant.
Stacked cakes are gaining momentum because of the myriad of shapes they come in. Hearts, squares, and hexagons are prevalent, as well as the more traditional circles. Can't decide on one shape for your stacked cake? Combine various geometric shapes for an interesting solution!
Cake decorations are becoming more unique and individual as couples are taking more interest in designing the perfect cake. Details such as ribbons, lace, charms, beads, tulle, bows, and streamers add a festive touch. Many brides choose to decorate the cake in details of their own gown, complete with a mini-bouquet as a cake topper.
Other unique cake toppers include a commissioned sculpture of the newlyweds on skis, replicas of Mickey and Minnie, and statuettes of beloved pets. Keepsakes are replacing their cheap plastic counterparts, and some couples are even incorporating cake toppers used at their parents' or grandparents' weddings!
With all of these wonderful ideas, you probably aren't even sure where to start. The first step is to choose a baker, and although this seems to be a daunting task, finding the right baker can mean everything to creating that perfect cake.
Ask around to find friends who can recommend good bakeries. Shop around, and be sure that you choose a reputable shop. Be sure to ask plenty of questions. Will there be extra charges for fillings, delivery, or elaborate decorations? Since many bakers charge by the slice, instead of the decorations, find out how big they consider a "slice" to be. Many bakeries have different definitions of a slice, and this can be reflected in their "per-slice" charge.
Look through their album of cakes to see what styles are available. If you can't find one you like in the album, go through cake decoration books and magazines for ideas. A good bakery should be willing and able to copy a picture of a cake with a minimum amount of change from the original.
Once you decide on a bakery, reserve your date. You need not place your order just yet, but it is important to make reservations since some area cake bakeries are booked up to two years in advance.
Ordering the right size cake is another very important consideration. The cake should be large enough to serve every guest at your reception, and you may want to allow for extra so that you can keep the top layer for your first anniversary celebration, a popular tradition.
Candies and cookies frequently accompany the cake in wedding receptions. How you display the confections will dictate how many you should order. If you place them in a basket or on a tray next to the cake, you will need to order more than you would if you put a couple at each place setting.
As with all other wedding plans, the choice is up to you, and your choices are forever expanding with new cake flavors, frostings, fillings, decorations. Make your cake a memorable treat long after the wedding by bringing your personality to its design!
Wedding cakes have become as varied as the ceremonies. No longer restricted to white vanilla cake with a plastic bride and groom smiling from the top tier, today's confections run the gamut of flavor and decoration. From chocolate and spice to Swarovski's crystal swans cake topper, there is something to suit every palate, and ever style.
The most important consideration to make when selecting your cake is personality -- this cake symbolizes you and your fiance's union, and should be a "marriage" of your favorite tastes and decorations.
Cake flavors that are gaining popularity include chocolate, spice, poppy seed, carrot, Grand Marnier, and even cheesecake. Still, the wonderful thing about wedding cakes in the 1990's is that any flavor is possible, as well as acceptable.
Frosting and filling flavors are also straying from the traditional. Fillings provide the most variety, since they can include the more ordinary chocolate fudge or lemon mousse, but also extend through the range of fruit flavors possible in vari ous gelees and preserves. If you can't decide on one filling flavor, choose one for each layer!
Possibilities are widening in the shapes of wedding cakes, also. While tiers are still popular, many couples find the plastic pillars that separate them tacky. Many bakers will work with your florist to decorate the cake, and together they can devise some cascading fresh flower decorations that wind around the pillars and look very elegant.
Stacked cakes are gaining momentum because of the myriad of shapes they come in. Hearts, squares, and hexagons are prevalent, as well as the more traditional circles. Can't decide on one shape for your stacked cake? Combine various geometric shapes for an interesting solution!
Cake decorations are becoming more unique and individual as couples are taking more interest in designing the perfect cake. Details such as ribbons, lace, charms, beads, tulle, bows, and streamers add a festive touch. Many brides choose to decorate the cake in details of their own gown, complete with a mini-bouquet as a cake topper.
Other unique cake toppers include a commissioned sculpture of the newlyweds on skis, replicas of Mickey and Minnie, and statuettes of beloved pets. Keepsakes are replacing their cheap plastic counterparts, and some couples are even incorporating cake toppers used at their parents' or grandparents' weddings!
With all of these wonderful ideas, you probably aren't even sure where to start. The first step is to choose a baker, and although this seems to be a daunting task, finding the right baker can mean everything to creating that perfect cake.
Ask around to find friends who can recommend good bakeries. Shop around, and be sure that you choose a reputable shop. Be sure to ask plenty of questions. Will there be extra charges for fillings, delivery, or elaborate decorations? Since many bakers charge by the slice, instead of the decorations, find out how big they consider a "slice" to be. Many bakeries have different definitions of a slice, and this can be reflected in their "per-slice" charge.
Look through their album of cakes to see what styles are available. If you can't find one you like in the album, go through cake decoration books and magazines for ideas. A good bakery should be willing and able to copy a picture of a cake with a minimum amount of change from the original.
Once you decide on a bakery, reserve your date. You need not place your order just yet, but it is important to make reservations since some area cake bakeries are booked up to two years in advance.
Ordering the right size cake is another very important consideration. The cake should be large enough to serve every guest at your reception, and you may want to allow for extra so that you can keep the top layer for your first anniversary celebration, a popular tradition.
Candies and cookies frequently accompany the cake in wedding receptions. How you display the confections will dictate how many you should order. If you place them in a basket or on a tray next to the cake, you will need to order more than you would if you put a couple at each place setting.
As with all other wedding plans, the choice is up to you, and your choices are forever expanding with new cake flavors, frostings, fillings, decorations. Make your cake a memorable treat long after the wedding by bringing your personality to its design!
Friday, December 12, 2008
Choosing a Wedding Cake: Flavor, Icing & Decoration, Shape
Flavor
Traditionally, wedding cakes came in two basic flavors: white and yellow. Occasionally, the adventuresome bride would go wild and ask for a chocolate cake.
Those days are long gone. Today, most bakeries offer a wide variety of delectable flavors. And brides are taking advantage of those choices, often requesting more than one flavor within their wedding cake.
"They're interested in letting their guests have a choice," explains one area baker that specializes in wedding cakes.
She explains that her customers want sophisticated flavors for their cakes. Liqueur-based cakes have been extremely popular, as have other very adult flavors such as cappuccino. A variety of citrus flavors, particularly orange, lemon and lime, are also in demand. A wonderful curd filling between layers often enhances these flavors.
In the past, adventurous flavors may have raised an eyebrow or two, but today's bride shouldn't worry too much, especially if she opts for several different flavors. More "usual" flavors-such as chocolate, spice or carrot-can be very welcome alongside trendier cakes. Some brides even choose cheesecake as part of the wedding supper dessert offering. Of course, if she prefers to play it safe, traditional white or yellow cakes are still delicious.
Icing & Decoration
Perhaps the biggest change in wedding cakes appears in their decorations and icings. "There's a lot of non-traditional wedding cake decoration," the baker reveals.
In this area, a fondant-style icing is very popular. Its smooth, unmarred surface makes a perfect base for beautiful, creative decorations. Fondant is like a "sugar dough" and allows the baker to create three-dimensional decorations similar to marzipan. A thin layer of butter cream icing below the fondant helps it stick to the cake. A word of warning that fondants can be hard and chewy if not done correctly, so it's vital to choose a baker familiar with fondant so the icing will taste moist and soft. Be sure to have a sample taste to be sure you like what you will be getting.
Although many brides still want traditional white cakes, color is an important part of cake decoration these days. Tinted icing in pastel shades makes for lovely, delicate-looking cakes. But pastels aren't the only colors to make the cut. Just one bright color, such as coral, on a cake makes a beautiful statement and allows the bride to incorporate her wedding's color theme throughout the event.
Brides still love cakes decorated with fresh or frosting flowers. But less traditional decorations bring a new creativity to wedding cakes. Icing bows and ribbons make fanciful decorations. Another creative touch sure to garner "oohs" and "ahs" are blown sugar bubbles or fondant bubbles tinted to look just like the real thing, iridescence and all. Other fresh looks include basket weave icing, fondant fruits and a lovely faux-brocade decoration.
Shape
Of course, such innovative decoration calls for equally innovative cake construction. The traditional stacked cake still maintains a prominent place in the wedding cake line-up. Today it has three to five layers and most often appears without columns supporting the individual layers. Present options include a series of fanciful constructions which would delight any bride.
"Brides are paying more attention to the overall construction," a local baker says, noting that today's wedding cakes can assume shapes from an ornate hat to a stack of gifts. Brides who opt for these shapes want something very personal and unusual to grace their reception. A combination of shapes, such as a square tier combined with several round ones, also give wedding cakes a unique presence. Some brides even opt for very tiny miniature wedding cakes, one for each guest. These diminutive cakes can assume any shape, and might even be topped with a second tier.
Size & Cost
How much cake to order can be a confusing gamble. Brides should consider several factors when consulting with their baker before coming to a final decision:
How many guests will attend? How large will each serving be? Is leftover cake desired, and if so, how much? Will the bride and groom retain a small tier or portion of the cake to freeze until their first anniversary?
The number of servings it yields determines the price of a wedding cake. Brides should be aware that serving sizes differ widely from bakery to bakery. They must make sure they understand just how big a serving size is and communicate that to whoever cuts the cake at the reception.
Cakes can cost anywhere from a low $1.50 per serving to upwards of $3.00 per serving. In general, the more avant-garde and specialized the cake, the more expensive it will be. If cost is a major consideration, a traditional tiered or simple rectangular white or yellow cake will probably be the least expensive.
Delivery
Wedding cakes are complex, delicate constructions, ones that definitely require professional handling. Most bakers include the cost of delivery and set-up in the price of the cake. If a particular baker does not, it is definitely worth the extra charge to relieve the bride of the stress and headache of coordinating this herself. It is a small price to pay for peace of mind and a flawless cake.
Bakeries have the correct vehicle in which to transport a wedding cake and bakers know how to assemble one on site. Bakers who deliver also bring along equipment to repair any minor dings a cake might acquire along the way. Many supply decorative cake knives, but some do not. In that case, the bride will have to supply her own. If the bride has chosen a tiered cake, she may be responsible for returning columns and other items to the baker after the wedding.
Choosing a Bakery
Finding a baker to fit your needs will take a little research and leg work, but it's definitely worth the time. Check ads, ask friends and family for referrals to good bakeries, and visit the WEDDING PLANNER & GUIDE Bridal Show to see a wide variety of bakers. Most have cakes on display, and even samples to taste. Set up appointments with several different bakers and then go in and view photos of other cakes they've created. Consider asking for references. Sample the wares. And above all, enjoy the process! After all, it's your wedding cake-and what could be sweeter than that?
Traditionally, wedding cakes came in two basic flavors: white and yellow. Occasionally, the adventuresome bride would go wild and ask for a chocolate cake.
Those days are long gone. Today, most bakeries offer a wide variety of delectable flavors. And brides are taking advantage of those choices, often requesting more than one flavor within their wedding cake.
"They're interested in letting their guests have a choice," explains one area baker that specializes in wedding cakes.She explains that her customers want sophisticated flavors for their cakes. Liqueur-based cakes have been extremely popular, as have other very adult flavors such as cappuccino. A variety of citrus flavors, particularly orange, lemon and lime, are also in demand. A wonderful curd filling between layers often enhances these flavors.
In the past, adventurous flavors may have raised an eyebrow or two, but today's bride shouldn't worry too much, especially if she opts for several different flavors. More "usual" flavors-such as chocolate, spice or carrot-can be very welcome alongside trendier cakes. Some brides even choose cheesecake as part of the wedding supper dessert offering. Of course, if she prefers to play it safe, traditional white or yellow cakes are still delicious.
Icing & Decoration
Perhaps the biggest change in wedding cakes appears in their decorations and icings. "There's a lot of non-traditional wedding cake decoration," the baker reveals.
In this area, a fondant-style icing is very popular. Its smooth, unmarred surface makes a perfect base for beautiful, creative decorations. Fondant is like a "sugar dough" and allows the baker to create three-dimensional decorations similar to marzipan. A thin layer of butter cream icing below the fondant helps it stick to the cake. A word of warning that fondants can be hard and chewy if not done correctly, so it's vital to choose a baker familiar with fondant so the icing will taste moist and soft. Be sure to have a sample taste to be sure you like what you will be getting.
Although many brides still want traditional white cakes, color is an important part of cake decoration these days. Tinted icing in pastel shades makes for lovely, delicate-looking cakes. But pastels aren't the only colors to make the cut. Just one bright color, such as coral, on a cake makes a beautiful statement and allows the bride to incorporate her wedding's color theme throughout the event.
Brides still love cakes decorated with fresh or frosting flowers. But less traditional decorations bring a new creativity to wedding cakes. Icing bows and ribbons make fanciful decorations. Another creative touch sure to garner "oohs" and "ahs" are blown sugar bubbles or fondant bubbles tinted to look just like the real thing, iridescence and all. Other fresh looks include basket weave icing, fondant fruits and a lovely faux-brocade decoration.
Shape
Of course, such innovative decoration calls for equally innovative cake construction. The traditional stacked cake still maintains a prominent place in the wedding cake line-up. Today it has three to five layers and most often appears without columns supporting the individual layers. Present options include a series of fanciful constructions which would delight any bride.
"Brides are paying more attention to the overall construction," a local baker says, noting that today's wedding cakes can assume shapes from an ornate hat to a stack of gifts. Brides who opt for these shapes want something very personal and unusual to grace their reception. A combination of shapes, such as a square tier combined with several round ones, also give wedding cakes a unique presence. Some brides even opt for very tiny miniature wedding cakes, one for each guest. These diminutive cakes can assume any shape, and might even be topped with a second tier.
Size & Cost
How much cake to order can be a confusing gamble. Brides should consider several factors when consulting with their baker before coming to a final decision:
How many guests will attend? How large will each serving be? Is leftover cake desired, and if so, how much? Will the bride and groom retain a small tier or portion of the cake to freeze until their first anniversary?
The number of servings it yields determines the price of a wedding cake. Brides should be aware that serving sizes differ widely from bakery to bakery. They must make sure they understand just how big a serving size is and communicate that to whoever cuts the cake at the reception.
Cakes can cost anywhere from a low $1.50 per serving to upwards of $3.00 per serving. In general, the more avant-garde and specialized the cake, the more expensive it will be. If cost is a major consideration, a traditional tiered or simple rectangular white or yellow cake will probably be the least expensive.
Delivery
Wedding cakes are complex, delicate constructions, ones that definitely require professional handling. Most bakers include the cost of delivery and set-up in the price of the cake. If a particular baker does not, it is definitely worth the extra charge to relieve the bride of the stress and headache of coordinating this herself. It is a small price to pay for peace of mind and a flawless cake.
Bakeries have the correct vehicle in which to transport a wedding cake and bakers know how to assemble one on site. Bakers who deliver also bring along equipment to repair any minor dings a cake might acquire along the way. Many supply decorative cake knives, but some do not. In that case, the bride will have to supply her own. If the bride has chosen a tiered cake, she may be responsible for returning columns and other items to the baker after the wedding.
Choosing a Bakery
Finding a baker to fit your needs will take a little research and leg work, but it's definitely worth the time. Check ads, ask friends and family for referrals to good bakeries, and visit the WEDDING PLANNER & GUIDE Bridal Show to see a wide variety of bakers. Most have cakes on display, and even samples to taste. Set up appointments with several different bakers and then go in and view photos of other cakes they've created. Consider asking for references. Sample the wares. And above all, enjoy the process! After all, it's your wedding cake-and what could be sweeter than that?
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Wedding Photography Checklist
The bride and groom must go to this meeting ready to ask important questions they've prepared ahead of time. Consider asking the photographer about these points:
Cost - Does the photographer have package prices? What does each package include (size and number of prints)? Can services be ordered a la carte? Is the album extra? Can the couple choose from a selection of albums? How much do duplicate prints cost (for relatives and attendants)? How can out-of-town folks order and pay for photos? How will their photos be delivered? Will there be meal or transportation expenses?
Contract - Once all the details have been decided on, will the services and prices be confirmed in a contract, and with whom will the couple be dealing? Or, will final price be decided after viewing and deciding on the proofs? Will the contract specify delivery times of proofs and final copies? Who will own the negatives? What is the payment schedule? Who is responsible for lost proofs? Is the photographer's attendance guaranteed? What if he doesn't make it? What happens if the date of the wedding changes or some other circumstance intervenes?
"Must" Photos - Will all desired formal and candid shots of the wedding and reception be taken? Are they guaranteed? What type of format will be used and why? Will there be any special effect shots (double exposure, special filters, fadeouts, etc.)? Will the photographer use a list of wanted photos provided by the bride and groom? (A helpful photography checklist can be found in the "Worksheet Section" of this publication.)
Bridal Portrait - Is the bridal portrait included in the package price? Will it be taken the day of the ceremony, the day of the final fitting or at a less hectic time, like a month before the wedding? Where will it be taken -- at the bridal shop, the photographer's studio, the bride's home, the bride's mother's home, a special site or the church? Will full-length and head-and-shoulder shots be taken? Can a black-and-white shot be taken for newspaper announcements?
Scheduling - Will the formal wedding party shots be taken before or after the wedding? What are the advantages and disadvantages of each time? When will the photographer arrive? How long will he or she stay at the reception?
Wedding Site - Is the photographer familiar with the site and its policies? Is it necessary to supply the photographer with a copy of site policies and rules? Should the bride and groom arrange a pre-wedding visit to check lighting, filter and positioning requirements?
With so many questions to consider, the need for a professional, experienced photographer becomes clear. The ability to take good photos is certainly not the only point of consideration. The photographer must also be a good communicator, willing to listen to the couple's wishes and able to successfully explain his artistic style, assuring the couple that they will get what they want. And what they want, of course, are photographs to last a lifetime.
Cost - Does the photographer have package prices? What does each package include (size and number of prints)? Can services be ordered a la carte? Is the album extra? Can the couple choose from a selection of albums? How much do duplicate prints cost (for relatives and attendants)? How can out-of-town folks order and pay for photos? How will their photos be delivered? Will there be meal or transportation expenses?Contract - Once all the details have been decided on, will the services and prices be confirmed in a contract, and with whom will the couple be dealing? Or, will final price be decided after viewing and deciding on the proofs? Will the contract specify delivery times of proofs and final copies? Who will own the negatives? What is the payment schedule? Who is responsible for lost proofs? Is the photographer's attendance guaranteed? What if he doesn't make it? What happens if the date of the wedding changes or some other circumstance intervenes?
"Must" Photos - Will all desired formal and candid shots of the wedding and reception be taken? Are they guaranteed? What type of format will be used and why? Will there be any special effect shots (double exposure, special filters, fadeouts, etc.)? Will the photographer use a list of wanted photos provided by the bride and groom? (A helpful photography checklist can be found in the "Worksheet Section" of this publication.)
Bridal Portrait - Is the bridal portrait included in the package price? Will it be taken the day of the ceremony, the day of the final fitting or at a less hectic time, like a month before the wedding? Where will it be taken -- at the bridal shop, the photographer's studio, the bride's home, the bride's mother's home, a special site or the church? Will full-length and head-and-shoulder shots be taken? Can a black-and-white shot be taken for newspaper announcements?
Scheduling - Will the formal wedding party shots be taken before or after the wedding? What are the advantages and disadvantages of each time? When will the photographer arrive? How long will he or she stay at the reception?
Wedding Site - Is the photographer familiar with the site and its policies? Is it necessary to supply the photographer with a copy of site policies and rules? Should the bride and groom arrange a pre-wedding visit to check lighting, filter and positioning requirements?
With so many questions to consider, the need for a professional, experienced photographer becomes clear. The ability to take good photos is certainly not the only point of consideration. The photographer must also be a good communicator, willing to listen to the couple's wishes and able to successfully explain his artistic style, assuring the couple that they will get what they want. And what they want, of course, are photographs to last a lifetime.
Choosing a Caterer
1. Will you (the catering representative) be there the night of the wedding?
2. Can we see photographs of your previous work?
3. Can we visit one of your weddings during set-up?
4. Can we have a taste test of the foods on our menu?
5. Are you licensed?
6. Do you have a liquor license? If not, do you provide bar set-up and bartenders?
7. Are you familiar with our reception site?
8. Have you ever catered a wedding of this size (if your wedding is very large)?
9. Do you specialize in any particular type of cuisine or menu?
10. Where will you prepare the food?
11. How will your service personnel be dressed?
12. How often will the food be replenished?
13. How do you figure the charge for the labor?
14. How many servers will you need for my wedding?
15. How much do you charge for a cake table?
16. Do you have any minimum requirements?
17. Do you provide a written estimate and contract?
18. How much of a deposit do you require?
19. What is your cancellation policy?
20. What is your postponement policy?
2. Can we see photographs of your previous work?
3. Can we visit one of your weddings during set-up?
4. Can we have a taste test of the foods on our menu?
5. Are you licensed?
6. Do you have a liquor license? If not, do you provide bar set-up and bartenders?
7. Are you familiar with our reception site?
8. Have you ever catered a wedding of this size (if your wedding is very large)?
9. Do you specialize in any particular type of cuisine or menu?
10. Where will you prepare the food?
11. How will your service personnel be dressed?
12. How often will the food be replenished?
13. How do you figure the charge for the labor?
14. How many servers will you need for my wedding?
15. How much do you charge for a cake table?
16. Do you have any minimum requirements?
17. Do you provide a written estimate and contract?
18. How much of a deposit do you require?
19. What is your cancellation policy?
20. What is your postponement policy?
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
How to get the sweet confection of your dreams
Variety is not just the spice but the sweetness in life, according to master chefs across the country, who maintain that though the traditional all-white wedding cake is making a big comeback, today's choices run from contemporary cube to Edwardian extravaganzas, and what you finally pick is largely a matter of taste.
Infinite possibilities
You can have your choice of just about any shape-round, square, diamond, heart-shaped, etc.-some 15 basic cake flavors-white, yellow, carrot, hazelnut, orange, mocha, chocolate, among others-and 30 fillings-raspberry, orange Grand Marnier, lemon, chocolate mousse, you name it-or better yet, for those who like to mix and match, says Mike McCarey, of John & Mike's Amazing Cakes in Redmond, WA, any combination of the above: "It's hard to please 200 people with just one flavor."
Low wire act
Ideally, the cake should reflect the personal tastes and interests of both you and your fiancé. But if you can't seem to come to some sort of compromise, you could take another approach and order his 'n hers bride's and groom's cakes. Gail Watson, of Gail Watson Custom Cakes in New York City, says one of her most memorable weddings was between a gymnast and a ballet dancer. The bride had a cake that looked like a dancer's tutu, while the groom's cake had a circussy theme, and stretched between the two was a...tightrope wire!
Top billing
Wedding cakes are traditionally crowned with a special cake top. This can be the customary figure of a bride or groom, says master cake designer Ron Ben-Israel of New York City, or something rife with symbolism, such as swans for never-ending love, marzipan for a fruitful life, and gold for abundance.
Taking the cake
When should you order the wedding cake? At least six to eight weeks in advance, if you want to make sure you get exactly what you want, and, says McCarey, during popular seasons you should perhaps put down a deposit even earlier.
Costs range from $1 to $10 or more per slice in a large metropolitan area like New York City, says Watson, depending on exotic ingredients or detail. Some of the fancier cakes, however, come at a flat rate, with averages of $1,500 to $4,000 and up.
Slicing the price
How to narrow down the field when your eyes may be much bigger not only than your stomach-but than your budget? By having a smaller display cake and serving a sliced sheet cake, or what McCarey calls "side cake."
When you're shopping for your delectable confection, keep the following pointers in mind:
Infinite possibilities
You can have your choice of just about any shape-round, square, diamond, heart-shaped, etc.-some 15 basic cake flavors-white, yellow, carrot, hazelnut, orange, mocha, chocolate, among others-and 30 fillings-raspberry, orange Grand Marnier, lemon, chocolate mousse, you name it-or better yet, for those who like to mix and match, says Mike McCarey, of John & Mike's Amazing Cakes in Redmond, WA, any combination of the above: "It's hard to please 200 people with just one flavor."
Low wire act
Ideally, the cake should reflect the personal tastes and interests of both you and your fiancé. But if you can't seem to come to some sort of compromise, you could take another approach and order his 'n hers bride's and groom's cakes. Gail Watson, of Gail Watson Custom Cakes in New York City, says one of her most memorable weddings was between a gymnast and a ballet dancer. The bride had a cake that looked like a dancer's tutu, while the groom's cake had a circussy theme, and stretched between the two was a...tightrope wire!
Top billing
Wedding cakes are traditionally crowned with a special cake top. This can be the customary figure of a bride or groom, says master cake designer Ron Ben-Israel of New York City, or something rife with symbolism, such as swans for never-ending love, marzipan for a fruitful life, and gold for abundance.
Taking the cake
When should you order the wedding cake? At least six to eight weeks in advance, if you want to make sure you get exactly what you want, and, says McCarey, during popular seasons you should perhaps put down a deposit even earlier.
Costs range from $1 to $10 or more per slice in a large metropolitan area like New York City, says Watson, depending on exotic ingredients or detail. Some of the fancier cakes, however, come at a flat rate, with averages of $1,500 to $4,000 and up.
Slicing the price
How to narrow down the field when your eyes may be much bigger not only than your stomach-but than your budget? By having a smaller display cake and serving a sliced sheet cake, or what McCarey calls "side cake."
When you're shopping for your delectable confection, keep the following pointers in mind:
- Comparison shop. You should meet with at least three bakers to get an idea of different styles and prices before making up your mind.
- Ask to see photos of their cakes. Make sure pictures represent the work of their current decorators, not past staff. Insist on a tasting. Of course, you want your cake to be a dazzling showcase, but it should also be as pleasing to the palate as it is to the eye.
- Discuss the size, site and season of your wedding. If you're having an outdoor wedding in June, for instance, you want to be sure the buttercream will hold up in the summer heat.
- Be open to new ideas. You probably think you know exactly what you want, but the baker may have suggestions for combinations-and creations- you never dreamed possible.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Keeping the price of your food and drinks reasonable
The mere thought of feeding a hundred guests makes some brides feel faint. Not only are there a multitude of decisions to be made, but also pennies to be spent. The truth is a few wise decisions can really cut the cost of your reception food and drinks without sacrificing the taste. Here's a list of tips to help make your reception affordable.
Serve simple foods
Beef and seafood entrees are usually the most expensive, so try chicken or pasta dishes. Watch the ingredient list as well. If you ask for dishes that require expensive or out-of-season ingredients (like asparagus during the fall), you'll jack up your bottom line.
Cut back on options
Choose one popular entree instead of two. This narrows your guests' options, but it is certainly less costly.
Scrap your dinner plans
A brunch or lunch reception can be just as festive at a fraction of the price. And people usually drink less at a morning or afternoon affair, so your bar tab will be significantly smaller.
Request a kid's menu
If you're inviting children to your reception, ask for smaller portions or more kid-friendly (and often less expensive) food. As your underage guests won't be toasting with champagne or downing a scotch on the rocks, ask that your bar bill reflect that as well.
Liquidate your assets
Put your cash into a tea or cocktail reception, elegant late afternoon or evening affairs without the hefty meal. For a tea reception, serve your guests tiny sandwiches, fruit and cheese, assorted desserts, a champagne punch and a variety of teas and coffees. At a cocktail reception, offer an assortment of hearty hors d'oeuvres, cake and fancy drinks.
Choose the right bar
If you're inviting a crowd of light drinkers, a consumption bar will save you money over an open bar (never, ever opt for a cash bar). If you're choosing a consumption bar, ask the waiters not to bus half-full glasses. Your guests won't have to keep going back up for fresh ones every time they rest their glass on a table, and you'll reap the windfall.
Just say no to champagne toasting
Don't serve champagne to everyone at toasting time. A lot of people don't like champagne and will be happy to toast with whatever is in their hand.
Lose the liquor
Cut back on alcohol costs by serving a delicious champagne punch or offering your guests a bar stocked with different types of wine and beer.
Try the short cake
Have your baker create a few simple tiers for the cake cutting, then stock the kitchen with additional sheet cakes.
Lose the sweet tooth
Eliminate the elaborate sweets table. Instead, choose a different flavor for each layer of cake. You can create a great selection of tortes, which you can complement with truffles, chocolate-dipped strawberries and a nice fruit display.
Serve simple foods
Beef and seafood entrees are usually the most expensive, so try chicken or pasta dishes. Watch the ingredient list as well. If you ask for dishes that require expensive or out-of-season ingredients (like asparagus during the fall), you'll jack up your bottom line.
Cut back on options
Choose one popular entree instead of two. This narrows your guests' options, but it is certainly less costly.
Scrap your dinner plans
A brunch or lunch reception can be just as festive at a fraction of the price. And people usually drink less at a morning or afternoon affair, so your bar tab will be significantly smaller.
Request a kid's menu
If you're inviting children to your reception, ask for smaller portions or more kid-friendly (and often less expensive) food. As your underage guests won't be toasting with champagne or downing a scotch on the rocks, ask that your bar bill reflect that as well.
Liquidate your assets
Put your cash into a tea or cocktail reception, elegant late afternoon or evening affairs without the hefty meal. For a tea reception, serve your guests tiny sandwiches, fruit and cheese, assorted desserts, a champagne punch and a variety of teas and coffees. At a cocktail reception, offer an assortment of hearty hors d'oeuvres, cake and fancy drinks.
Choose the right bar
If you're inviting a crowd of light drinkers, a consumption bar will save you money over an open bar (never, ever opt for a cash bar). If you're choosing a consumption bar, ask the waiters not to bus half-full glasses. Your guests won't have to keep going back up for fresh ones every time they rest their glass on a table, and you'll reap the windfall.
Just say no to champagne toasting
Don't serve champagne to everyone at toasting time. A lot of people don't like champagne and will be happy to toast with whatever is in their hand.
Lose the liquor
Cut back on alcohol costs by serving a delicious champagne punch or offering your guests a bar stocked with different types of wine and beer.
Try the short cake
Have your baker create a few simple tiers for the cake cutting, then stock the kitchen with additional sheet cakes.
Lose the sweet tooth
Eliminate the elaborate sweets table. Instead, choose a different flavor for each layer of cake. You can create a great selection of tortes, which you can complement with truffles, chocolate-dipped strawberries and a nice fruit display.
Cutting Your Drink Costs
Booze can suck up a considerable chunk of your budget, but there are ways to keep the bill in check.
If you've ever thrown a cocktail party, you know how easy it is to break the bank on drinks. Fortunately, with a little strategic planning, you can keep the bar tab within reason. Here's how:
Give hard liquor the heave ho
Full bars are quick to rack up a big tab, because they offer your indulgent guests too many choices. You're generally charged for each open bottle, so you'll end up paying for a whole bottle of top-shelf gin just to serve three martinis. And paying by the drink can be just as expensive. So host a wine and beer bar with plenty of tasty—but limited—selections instead.
Know your crowd
If your parents' friends love Merlot, order magnum bottles by the case and get a volume discount. And if nothing but Guinness will keep your pals happy, skip the Bud Light and order the finer brew in bulk.
Throw a brunch bash
Have a light brunch reception on a summer morning and serve mimosas or Bloody Marys. After all, most of your guests won't drink whiskey sours at 10:00 a.m. or guzzle beer for four hours in the summer heat.
Bartenders and baristas
Save money and lives by switching to a coffee bar for the last hour. Have plenty of whipped cream and shaved chocolate on hand. And ask your bartender and valet to keep an eye out for tipsy drivers.
If you've ever thrown a cocktail party, you know how easy it is to break the bank on drinks. Fortunately, with a little strategic planning, you can keep the bar tab within reason. Here's how:
Give hard liquor the heave ho
Full bars are quick to rack up a big tab, because they offer your indulgent guests too many choices. You're generally charged for each open bottle, so you'll end up paying for a whole bottle of top-shelf gin just to serve three martinis. And paying by the drink can be just as expensive. So host a wine and beer bar with plenty of tasty—but limited—selections instead.
Know your crowd
If your parents' friends love Merlot, order magnum bottles by the case and get a volume discount. And if nothing but Guinness will keep your pals happy, skip the Bud Light and order the finer brew in bulk.
Throw a brunch bash
Have a light brunch reception on a summer morning and serve mimosas or Bloody Marys. After all, most of your guests won't drink whiskey sours at 10:00 a.m. or guzzle beer for four hours in the summer heat.
Bartenders and baristas
Save money and lives by switching to a coffee bar for the last hour. Have plenty of whipped cream and shaved chocolate on hand. And ask your bartender and valet to keep an eye out for tipsy drivers.
Get creative with your drink options
It's cocktail hour at your wedding: Imagine frozen bottles of flavored vodkas (think: pepper, lemon, currant) displayed in molded ice and accompanied by chilled shot glasses or martini glasses. What a fun way to start off a party. Of course, there's nothing wrong with a traditional bar offering brand-name liquors and a selection of wine and beer. But as martinis, cosmopolitans, sidecars and other retro drinks have come into vogue, more couples are opting for a specialty bar or some other unique touch for their special day.
"Everybody was getting incredibly dull for about five years, and now they're getting over it," says Chef Rossi, catering director for The Metropolitan Building in New York, who explains that she's getting more requests for exotic themes ranging from sake bars to Cuban drinks. "Frozen bottles of vodka offered in shot glasses or as martinis and posed with caviar stations can be very sexy and fun."
With the price of liquor ranging from $10 to $60 a person, it pays to carefully plan your alcohol options. By getting creative with your drinks, you'll not only add a distinctive touch to your event, but you may end up savings some bucks as well.
Specialty Bars
With the plethora of funky martinis and other trendy drinks, it's no wonder some couples are choosing to offer a specialty drink or two at their reception. Some couples even nickname mixed drinks for themselves or some aspect of their relationship, such as where they met, and print up special drink cards or menus. Having a limited menu of drinks can save on liquor costs.
There are a number of ways to display specialty drinks. Frozen specialty vodkas look nice in ice sculptures garnished with fruit or flowers, or you may simply show the variety of bottles on the bar. Special tables or stations can also be set up, perhaps accompanied by hors d'oeuvres or appetizers. Creative caterers might add extra touches like providing retro shaker sets for bartenders and displaying festive cards at the bar describing novel cocktails. Microbrews at weddings are also popular. Some brands even offer the beer in kegs, which are less expensive.
Limit The Choices
Limiting the choices and keeping the bar as simple and basic as possible can also save money. You might opt for a beer, wine and soda bar, or a bar with only a few liquors available. Rossi of The Metropolitan Building remembers a summer wedding for which the alcoholic drink selection included just vodka, white wine and champagne. "I thought it was beautiful," she says. Some reception managers declare couples won't save much by skipping the hard liquor because a glass of wine costs about the same as a gin and tonic. If you're not offering the top-shelf brands, bottles can be displayed creatively so the labels can be hidden.
After-Dinner Drinks
Serving cordials after dinner continues to be a big tradition at weddings. This option can be as simple as having a waiter walk around with a bottle of cognac or as fancy as setting up cordial tables with a variety of finger desserts. And, as cigars continue to be popular, many couples opt to offer a selection of single malt scotches or different types of ports, both of which have become trendy accompaniments to cigars.
International coffee bars are another way to jazz up the end of a reception. "Cappuccino, espresso and other coffee drinks are very popular now," says Frances Dion, sales director of The Breakers in Spring Lake, NJ, who adds that prices can range from $3 to $5 extra.
A Taste Of Wine
This is the fun part - at least for the bride- and groom-to-be. Most reception sites offer a wine and/or champagne tasting in advance of the big day. Sometimes it's accompanied by a food tasting with a full menu, while in other circumstances, just hors d'oeuvres are served. Still other venues make a big party of it, inviting all prospective engaged couples to a tasting event. "About a month before the wedding, I'll do a formal tasting in a private room and have the butler and the maitre d' standing there," says Gary Merjian, director of catering at the St. Regis in New York.
Even if you're organizing the alcohol yourself, you can still throw your own wine tasting. "We had a fun time deciding which wines and champagnes we were going to choose - we made it an event," says Susan Copeland, who invited her wedding party over for a casual gathering and pre-wedding wine and champagne sampling.
And who says you can't offer a wine tasting at your reception? Have cards with a description of each wine printed up and displayed at a special tasting station. One couple whose chosen reception site did not allow hard liquor found a wine tasting to be a wonderful way to compensate for the limited choices offered to their guests. Couples who are offering just a wine, beer and soda bar might make the most of their liquor menu by having a wine or microbrew tasting.
"Everybody was getting incredibly dull for about five years, and now they're getting over it," says Chef Rossi, catering director for The Metropolitan Building in New York, who explains that she's getting more requests for exotic themes ranging from sake bars to Cuban drinks. "Frozen bottles of vodka offered in shot glasses or as martinis and posed with caviar stations can be very sexy and fun."
With the price of liquor ranging from $10 to $60 a person, it pays to carefully plan your alcohol options. By getting creative with your drinks, you'll not only add a distinctive touch to your event, but you may end up savings some bucks as well.
Specialty Bars
With the plethora of funky martinis and other trendy drinks, it's no wonder some couples are choosing to offer a specialty drink or two at their reception. Some couples even nickname mixed drinks for themselves or some aspect of their relationship, such as where they met, and print up special drink cards or menus. Having a limited menu of drinks can save on liquor costs.
There are a number of ways to display specialty drinks. Frozen specialty vodkas look nice in ice sculptures garnished with fruit or flowers, or you may simply show the variety of bottles on the bar. Special tables or stations can also be set up, perhaps accompanied by hors d'oeuvres or appetizers. Creative caterers might add extra touches like providing retro shaker sets for bartenders and displaying festive cards at the bar describing novel cocktails. Microbrews at weddings are also popular. Some brands even offer the beer in kegs, which are less expensive.
Limit The Choices
Limiting the choices and keeping the bar as simple and basic as possible can also save money. You might opt for a beer, wine and soda bar, or a bar with only a few liquors available. Rossi of The Metropolitan Building remembers a summer wedding for which the alcoholic drink selection included just vodka, white wine and champagne. "I thought it was beautiful," she says. Some reception managers declare couples won't save much by skipping the hard liquor because a glass of wine costs about the same as a gin and tonic. If you're not offering the top-shelf brands, bottles can be displayed creatively so the labels can be hidden.
After-Dinner Drinks
Serving cordials after dinner continues to be a big tradition at weddings. This option can be as simple as having a waiter walk around with a bottle of cognac or as fancy as setting up cordial tables with a variety of finger desserts. And, as cigars continue to be popular, many couples opt to offer a selection of single malt scotches or different types of ports, both of which have become trendy accompaniments to cigars.
International coffee bars are another way to jazz up the end of a reception. "Cappuccino, espresso and other coffee drinks are very popular now," says Frances Dion, sales director of The Breakers in Spring Lake, NJ, who adds that prices can range from $3 to $5 extra.
A Taste Of Wine
This is the fun part - at least for the bride- and groom-to-be. Most reception sites offer a wine and/or champagne tasting in advance of the big day. Sometimes it's accompanied by a food tasting with a full menu, while in other circumstances, just hors d'oeuvres are served. Still other venues make a big party of it, inviting all prospective engaged couples to a tasting event. "About a month before the wedding, I'll do a formal tasting in a private room and have the butler and the maitre d' standing there," says Gary Merjian, director of catering at the St. Regis in New York.
Even if you're organizing the alcohol yourself, you can still throw your own wine tasting. "We had a fun time deciding which wines and champagnes we were going to choose - we made it an event," says Susan Copeland, who invited her wedding party over for a casual gathering and pre-wedding wine and champagne sampling.
And who says you can't offer a wine tasting at your reception? Have cards with a description of each wine printed up and displayed at a special tasting station. One couple whose chosen reception site did not allow hard liquor found a wine tasting to be a wonderful way to compensate for the limited choices offered to their guests. Couples who are offering just a wine, beer and soda bar might make the most of their liquor menu by having a wine or microbrew tasting.
Which reception noshing option to go with?
Can't decide which reception noshing option to go with? Pick the one that matches your personality.
You can't hire any of your vendors, order your invitations, or even sort out your guest list until you know rudimentary details about what the reception will be like. The food, drinks and site costs make up 50 percent of most wedding budgets, so this is no small decision.
Don't think that the Saturday-night special so favored by people in the U.S. is the only way to go. In fact, having your wedding any time BUT Saturday night is often the biggest stress-saving step you can make. Mull over this assortment of the most popular party types so you can find the one that perfectly fits your vision, your budget and your crowd. But never be afraid of getting creative on your own!
Breakfast or Brunch
A glorious greet-the-day event
YOUR STYLE: A get-up-and-go-getter, you can think of nothing better than starting a new day and your new life at the same time. To you, a morning ceremony seems somehow more spiritual, more reverential. Plus you get to spend the bulk of your wedding day cuddling with your new hubby and heading to the honeymoon.
WHAT TO SERVE: Delectable breakfast/brunch fare: croissants and fresh jams; star-anise-scented fruit salad; smoked salmon, asparagus quiche or scrambled eggs in brioche. Try an omelette station and order up butlered service for an array of coffees, teas and juices. For a festive touch, serve mimosas or bloody marys. A light white cake with fruit filling is the perfect finish.
Tea
A lighthearted, elegant afternoon affair
YOUR STYLE: You're a diehard romantic. Or maybe you're fiancé is an Anglophile who loves doing things with a royal flair. (You've both insisted that hats are required wedding-guest attire.) Or maybe you'd just love a garden party-and watching your honey say "I do" in the sunshine.
WHAT TO SERVE: Think English-finger sandwiches, savory and sweet tarts, fruit and cheese, scones and cream. Then pull out all the stops with an assortment of fine, butlered teas, champagne punch and a little coffee.
Cocktails
A bubbly, warm party of mingling
YOUR STYLE: You're a social butterfly who loves to flutter through a party. A cosmopolitan couple (who likes to drink Cosmopolitans), the two of you are fierce individuals who prefer the relaxed sophistication of a cocktail party to the formality of a sit-down event.
WHAT TO SERVE: Hors d'oeuvres are subject to endless variations: choose a few that reflect you and your groom's heritage or hometown, like Caribbean seviche, wild-boar enchiladas and more.
Since you're not serving a whole meal, you can indulge: caviar stations and iced raw bars; precious single-serving soups (butlered in Japanese miso spoons) and traditional favorites. Develop your theme at the bar-serve martinis, tropical drinks or a sampling of wines from every region.
Sit-Down Dinner
A traditional evening event with room for endless variation
YOUR STYLE: You're a conservative sort with a creative streak. You like the idea of being surrounded by friends and family-and being toasted (and roasted) by them. A carefully planned menu will be testament to you and your fiancé's fine taste, and dancing all night is definitely a must.
WHAT TO SERVE: The style of a sit-down dinner depends greatly on the location you choose, and so will the menu. You can go for tried-and-true, such as roasted chicken or pasta; to be more daring, try sea bass, Cornish hens, or even quail. For a more serious event, serve dinner and save the dancing for later. Otherwise, you can mix it up by having your first dance as the guests find their way to their tables.
Buffet Dinner
A relaxed (but not necessarily informal) affair
YOUR STYLE: You want your wedding to be perfect, but can't imagine telling people where to sit. Pleasing everyone, especially yourself, is your raison d'tre, and buffets are a great way to do both.
WHAT TO SERVE: Whatever you please-but with a bit of attention paid to the guests. If your family is Middle Eastern, serve a rich, Persian feast, and then have grilled chicken and salad greens on hand for the less-experimental types. This kind of meal service is also the best way to handle a huge wedding (which is why buffets are de rigueur in Texas!).
Dinner Stations
A foodie fantasy, where an unforgettable dinner is the main entertainment
YOUR STYLE: You just can't decide what you want, so you want it all. Or maybe you're a gourmet who would love to share that passion with your guests.
WHAT TO SERVE: Go wild! Serve all of your favorites and then some. Offer an array of pastas and sauces at one table, a carving station with prime rib at another, a seafood bar, a grill-you name it!
The guests will mix and mingle, exclaiming at each station.
Dessert Reception
An intimate, seductive late-night or afternoon event
YOUR STYLE: You have a big sweet tooth, a decadent streak and the imagination to go with it. You're also a little bit retro-50 years ago punch and cake was the treasured reception standard. If you don't like being the center of attention, or aren't planning on a lot of guests, this is a option that's often short...and always sweet.
WHAT TO SERVE: The cake, naturally. Add some chocolate-dipped fruits, tarts and tortes, candy and other confections. Top it off with champagne, dessert wines and a specialty coffee bar. The perfect masculine counterpoint is to serve single-malt scotches and cigars.
You can't hire any of your vendors, order your invitations, or even sort out your guest list until you know rudimentary details about what the reception will be like. The food, drinks and site costs make up 50 percent of most wedding budgets, so this is no small decision.
Don't think that the Saturday-night special so favored by people in the U.S. is the only way to go. In fact, having your wedding any time BUT Saturday night is often the biggest stress-saving step you can make. Mull over this assortment of the most popular party types so you can find the one that perfectly fits your vision, your budget and your crowd. But never be afraid of getting creative on your own!Breakfast or Brunch
A glorious greet-the-day event
YOUR STYLE: A get-up-and-go-getter, you can think of nothing better than starting a new day and your new life at the same time. To you, a morning ceremony seems somehow more spiritual, more reverential. Plus you get to spend the bulk of your wedding day cuddling with your new hubby and heading to the honeymoon.
WHAT TO SERVE: Delectable breakfast/brunch fare: croissants and fresh jams; star-anise-scented fruit salad; smoked salmon, asparagus quiche or scrambled eggs in brioche. Try an omelette station and order up butlered service for an array of coffees, teas and juices. For a festive touch, serve mimosas or bloody marys. A light white cake with fruit filling is the perfect finish.
Tea
A lighthearted, elegant afternoon affair
YOUR STYLE: You're a diehard romantic. Or maybe you're fiancé is an Anglophile who loves doing things with a royal flair. (You've both insisted that hats are required wedding-guest attire.) Or maybe you'd just love a garden party-and watching your honey say "I do" in the sunshine.
WHAT TO SERVE: Think English-finger sandwiches, savory and sweet tarts, fruit and cheese, scones and cream. Then pull out all the stops with an assortment of fine, butlered teas, champagne punch and a little coffee.
Cocktails
A bubbly, warm party of mingling
YOUR STYLE: You're a social butterfly who loves to flutter through a party. A cosmopolitan couple (who likes to drink Cosmopolitans), the two of you are fierce individuals who prefer the relaxed sophistication of a cocktail party to the formality of a sit-down event.
WHAT TO SERVE: Hors d'oeuvres are subject to endless variations: choose a few that reflect you and your groom's heritage or hometown, like Caribbean seviche, wild-boar enchiladas and more.
Since you're not serving a whole meal, you can indulge: caviar stations and iced raw bars; precious single-serving soups (butlered in Japanese miso spoons) and traditional favorites. Develop your theme at the bar-serve martinis, tropical drinks or a sampling of wines from every region.
Sit-Down Dinner
A traditional evening event with room for endless variation
YOUR STYLE: You're a conservative sort with a creative streak. You like the idea of being surrounded by friends and family-and being toasted (and roasted) by them. A carefully planned menu will be testament to you and your fiancé's fine taste, and dancing all night is definitely a must.
WHAT TO SERVE: The style of a sit-down dinner depends greatly on the location you choose, and so will the menu. You can go for tried-and-true, such as roasted chicken or pasta; to be more daring, try sea bass, Cornish hens, or even quail. For a more serious event, serve dinner and save the dancing for later. Otherwise, you can mix it up by having your first dance as the guests find their way to their tables.
Buffet Dinner
A relaxed (but not necessarily informal) affair
YOUR STYLE: You want your wedding to be perfect, but can't imagine telling people where to sit. Pleasing everyone, especially yourself, is your raison d'tre, and buffets are a great way to do both.
WHAT TO SERVE: Whatever you please-but with a bit of attention paid to the guests. If your family is Middle Eastern, serve a rich, Persian feast, and then have grilled chicken and salad greens on hand for the less-experimental types. This kind of meal service is also the best way to handle a huge wedding (which is why buffets are de rigueur in Texas!).
Dinner Stations
A foodie fantasy, where an unforgettable dinner is the main entertainment
YOUR STYLE: You just can't decide what you want, so you want it all. Or maybe you're a gourmet who would love to share that passion with your guests.
WHAT TO SERVE: Go wild! Serve all of your favorites and then some. Offer an array of pastas and sauces at one table, a carving station with prime rib at another, a seafood bar, a grill-you name it!
The guests will mix and mingle, exclaiming at each station.
Dessert Reception
An intimate, seductive late-night or afternoon event
YOUR STYLE: You have a big sweet tooth, a decadent streak and the imagination to go with it. You're also a little bit retro-50 years ago punch and cake was the treasured reception standard. If you don't like being the center of attention, or aren't planning on a lot of guests, this is a option that's often short...and always sweet.
WHAT TO SERVE: The cake, naturally. Add some chocolate-dipped fruits, tarts and tortes, candy and other confections. Top it off with champagne, dessert wines and a specialty coffee bar. The perfect masculine counterpoint is to serve single-malt scotches and cigars.
Reception Menu Roundtable
To get to the heart of the things you fret about most, I invited four brides-to-be to join me in a lively roundtable discussion about how and what to serve guests at the reception.
Reception options
Marcy: So, what sort of receptions are you planning?
Casey: We plan to seriously look at sites this summer. I want a fun cocktail reception. My fiancé thinks he may want something more elaborate, like a sit-down dinner.
Marcy: Cocktail parties are my favorite. They're shorter than the typical four hours a sit-down takes. And they're more festive. When a couple plans a sit-down, they think about what grouping of people would make a fun, conversational table. But the truth is you end up just talking to whomever is on your left and right.
Casey: I want people to mingle and talk all night. And I want to avoid how everyone gets up to dance between courses at a sit-down.
Cocktail choices
Marcy: So what's the cocktail hour all about?
Gena: We're going to have seven stations and 10 passed hors d'oeuvres. I'm excited about the baked brie station, instead of regular cheese and fruit. I'm also psyched about the caviar. We're serving it with chopped egg and onion, crackers, and iced vodka. My fiancé is psyched about the carving station and the baby lamb chops that will be passed around.
Casey: Maybe we'll have a raw bar or seafood station, and an Asian station with sushi and skewered items. I want the party to be upscale, so I'm thinking of a caviar bar. And a tapas station would be fun. Maybe we'll have an international buffet!
Nicole: My fiancé's looking forward to having a mashed potato bar-he's told all his friends about it! We're serving the potatoes in a martini glass and then you put toppings on it. It's a little detail that people will remember and it makes our wedding seem different.
Suzanne: My fiancé's really excited about having a Parisian table for dessert. It's basically wall-to-wall sweets-crepes, pies, candies, liquors.
Entree decisions
Gena: For entrees, we're definitely serving filet mignon. We're having a tasting in a few weeks to choose between cornish hen and chicken, and grouper or mahi-mahi.
Suzanne: We want to serve salmon, which is light for the summer. I'm pushing for a simple chicken option, but we're both into doing a fancy beef like chateaubriand. The caterer is offering so many options to our guests that we feel like we're getting a good deal.
Marcy: You may be getting such a deal because you're getting married outside of a major metropolitan area. There's another factor behind all the variety that you've been offered. In the past few years, many people in this country have become more sophisticated in relation to food, so items such as specialty bars, sushi, Peking duck, etc., are now offered by banquet halls. The change is wonderful.
Considering special dietary needs
Gena: It was important to both of us that we also include vegetarian choices.
Nicole: I feel like vegetarians often get left out in the cold. It's really important to consider what your guests eat. We're going to make sure we have vegetarian and kosher entree options.
Smart tip for the sit-down dinner
Gena: Another smart decision we made is combining the salad and appetizer courses by serving seared tuna over arugula. The caterer said this will give our guests 20 more minutes of dancing.
Attending pre-wedding tastings
Marcy: Tastings are one of the most fun parts of wedding planning. They bring you and your groom together in a relaxed setting to decide on things in tandem. Take notes, make doodles, ask questions. Chefs will get a kick out of your interest and it will show in the final product.
Gena: At our tasting, I'm planning on bringing the chef a cookbook from my favorite bakery. They make these cupcakes that I love, and he's promised to make our cake taste exactly the same.
Suzanne: We had a tasting of food and wine before we agreed to book our site. We'd heard mixed reviews about the place, and we wanted to make sure it was going to be good. And it was.
Marcy: It's unusual that a place will give you a tasting before you book.
Compromising
Nicole: We haven't done our tasting yet. Both sets of parents will join us. It will be harder for us to make decisions with them there, but we know this day isn't just about us. We want to make sure there's something there for everyone. They don't like sushi, for example, but we do and so do our friends. And they'll want traditional Jewish food there that you'd find at a temple.
Marcy: Bringing your parents into the loop on something they care about is a good idea, but it's not easy to strike a balance between what you want and what your parents want.
Drinks
Marcy: What about the bar?
Nicole: We're not big drinkers, but we'll have top-shelf liquor (best-quality items like name-brand vodka) all night. And we thought it'd be fun to serve frozen drinks since we're getting married Labor Day weekend.
Marcy: Great idea! Guests will love that.
Pricing
Marcy: So let's get to how your menu is being priced.
Nicole: On a per-person basis. As it gets closer to our date the extras will be priced for us.
Marcy: There are so many ways to price things, depending on where you live and the banquet facility. Some places charge per person for upgraded stations, such as sushi, seafood or carved meats, and others charge a round number.
Nicole: Not everything we want is fancy or costs extra. We're having a really simple wedding cake. But we're also having a make-your-own-sundae bar.
Marcy: Another great idea. The more things you serve to delight your guests, the more fun the wedding is for everyone. Isn't that what a wedding is all about?
Reception options
Marcy: So, what sort of receptions are you planning?
Casey: We plan to seriously look at sites this summer. I want a fun cocktail reception. My fiancé thinks he may want something more elaborate, like a sit-down dinner.
Marcy: Cocktail parties are my favorite. They're shorter than the typical four hours a sit-down takes. And they're more festive. When a couple plans a sit-down, they think about what grouping of people would make a fun, conversational table. But the truth is you end up just talking to whomever is on your left and right.
Casey: I want people to mingle and talk all night. And I want to avoid how everyone gets up to dance between courses at a sit-down.
Cocktail choices
Marcy: So what's the cocktail hour all about?
Gena: We're going to have seven stations and 10 passed hors d'oeuvres. I'm excited about the baked brie station, instead of regular cheese and fruit. I'm also psyched about the caviar. We're serving it with chopped egg and onion, crackers, and iced vodka. My fiancé is psyched about the carving station and the baby lamb chops that will be passed around.
Casey: Maybe we'll have a raw bar or seafood station, and an Asian station with sushi and skewered items. I want the party to be upscale, so I'm thinking of a caviar bar. And a tapas station would be fun. Maybe we'll have an international buffet!
Nicole: My fiancé's looking forward to having a mashed potato bar-he's told all his friends about it! We're serving the potatoes in a martini glass and then you put toppings on it. It's a little detail that people will remember and it makes our wedding seem different.
Suzanne: My fiancé's really excited about having a Parisian table for dessert. It's basically wall-to-wall sweets-crepes, pies, candies, liquors.
Entree decisions
Gena: For entrees, we're definitely serving filet mignon. We're having a tasting in a few weeks to choose between cornish hen and chicken, and grouper or mahi-mahi.
Suzanne: We want to serve salmon, which is light for the summer. I'm pushing for a simple chicken option, but we're both into doing a fancy beef like chateaubriand. The caterer is offering so many options to our guests that we feel like we're getting a good deal.
Marcy: You may be getting such a deal because you're getting married outside of a major metropolitan area. There's another factor behind all the variety that you've been offered. In the past few years, many people in this country have become more sophisticated in relation to food, so items such as specialty bars, sushi, Peking duck, etc., are now offered by banquet halls. The change is wonderful.
Considering special dietary needs
Gena: It was important to both of us that we also include vegetarian choices.
Nicole: I feel like vegetarians often get left out in the cold. It's really important to consider what your guests eat. We're going to make sure we have vegetarian and kosher entree options.
Smart tip for the sit-down dinner
Gena: Another smart decision we made is combining the salad and appetizer courses by serving seared tuna over arugula. The caterer said this will give our guests 20 more minutes of dancing.
Attending pre-wedding tastings
Marcy: Tastings are one of the most fun parts of wedding planning. They bring you and your groom together in a relaxed setting to decide on things in tandem. Take notes, make doodles, ask questions. Chefs will get a kick out of your interest and it will show in the final product.
Gena: At our tasting, I'm planning on bringing the chef a cookbook from my favorite bakery. They make these cupcakes that I love, and he's promised to make our cake taste exactly the same.
Suzanne: We had a tasting of food and wine before we agreed to book our site. We'd heard mixed reviews about the place, and we wanted to make sure it was going to be good. And it was.
Marcy: It's unusual that a place will give you a tasting before you book.
Compromising
Nicole: We haven't done our tasting yet. Both sets of parents will join us. It will be harder for us to make decisions with them there, but we know this day isn't just about us. We want to make sure there's something there for everyone. They don't like sushi, for example, but we do and so do our friends. And they'll want traditional Jewish food there that you'd find at a temple.
Marcy: Bringing your parents into the loop on something they care about is a good idea, but it's not easy to strike a balance between what you want and what your parents want.
Drinks
Marcy: What about the bar?
Nicole: We're not big drinkers, but we'll have top-shelf liquor (best-quality items like name-brand vodka) all night. And we thought it'd be fun to serve frozen drinks since we're getting married Labor Day weekend.
Marcy: Great idea! Guests will love that.
Pricing
Marcy: So let's get to how your menu is being priced.
Nicole: On a per-person basis. As it gets closer to our date the extras will be priced for us.
Marcy: There are so many ways to price things, depending on where you live and the banquet facility. Some places charge per person for upgraded stations, such as sushi, seafood or carved meats, and others charge a round number.
Nicole: Not everything we want is fancy or costs extra. We're having a really simple wedding cake. But we're also having a make-your-own-sundae bar.
Marcy: Another great idea. The more things you serve to delight your guests, the more fun the wedding is for everyone. Isn't that what a wedding is all about?
Ideas for hosting an hors d'oeuvres-only reception
Somewhere between the sit-down party and dessert soiree comes the hors d'oeuvres and cocktails reception. Sophisticated and somewhat simpler to arrange, this event style is often held in the early or late evening.
What's on the menu?
A good caterer will be able to offer a tantalizing variety of tidbits. “Send out waiters bearing trays with scrumptious little bites, and set out luxurious cheese and fruit displays,” says Lisa Milbrand, associate editor of Modern Bride magazine. “Aim for a variety of hors d'oeuvres: from upscale caviar bars and shrimp and oysters on ice, to more quotidian fare like mini-quiches and stuffed mushrooms.”
A little advice
While we love this party idea, there are two points of caution. First, any guests expecting a five-course meal may feel shortchanged. Consider stating on your reception card enclosure that a “cocktail reception” follows your ceremony—this way they can choose to have an early dinner before the festivities. Also, don't be deceived by the words “hors d'oeuvres.” If you're not careful, the bill could rival that of the finest sit-down affair. Watch the budget as you make up your menu.
Now for the drinks
Now for the cocktail end of things. Again, dollars come into play in a big way, so clearly price out your ideas. The good news? Today's bar options are on the rise. “Offer your favorite specialty drinks,” says Milbrand. “Look into a martini bar: cosmopolitans and gimlets; a tropical drink station for pia coladas and fruit daiquiris; or a wine-tasting bar with everything from Syrahs to Rieslings.”
Let's mingle
Like the hors d'oeuvres idea? Great—just know your crowd. Guests probably stand and mingle at this type of reception more than any other. The upside of that is you get to skip the whole seating-chart saga. And since you provide tables for only 30 percent of attendees, you save on centerpieces. Now that's food for thought.
What's on the menu?
A good caterer will be able to offer a tantalizing variety of tidbits. “Send out waiters bearing trays with scrumptious little bites, and set out luxurious cheese and fruit displays,” says Lisa Milbrand, associate editor of Modern Bride magazine. “Aim for a variety of hors d'oeuvres: from upscale caviar bars and shrimp and oysters on ice, to more quotidian fare like mini-quiches and stuffed mushrooms.”
A little advice
While we love this party idea, there are two points of caution. First, any guests expecting a five-course meal may feel shortchanged. Consider stating on your reception card enclosure that a “cocktail reception” follows your ceremony—this way they can choose to have an early dinner before the festivities. Also, don't be deceived by the words “hors d'oeuvres.” If you're not careful, the bill could rival that of the finest sit-down affair. Watch the budget as you make up your menu.
Now for the drinks
Now for the cocktail end of things. Again, dollars come into play in a big way, so clearly price out your ideas. The good news? Today's bar options are on the rise. “Offer your favorite specialty drinks,” says Milbrand. “Look into a martini bar: cosmopolitans and gimlets; a tropical drink station for pia coladas and fruit daiquiris; or a wine-tasting bar with everything from Syrahs to Rieslings.”
Let's mingle
Like the hors d'oeuvres idea? Great—just know your crowd. Guests probably stand and mingle at this type of reception more than any other. The upside of that is you get to skip the whole seating-chart saga. And since you provide tables for only 30 percent of attendees, you save on centerpieces. Now that's food for thought.
The Wedding Brunch Reception
Hey, early birds! A greet-the-morning event may be a perfect reception option for you.
Welcome to the ins and outs of a variety of reception styles—right down to the menu. Here, wedding planner assembles all the elements for a delightful brunch reception.
Why have a brunch reception?
There are many reasons to consider celebrating your nuptials with a brunch. First, it can be a more economical alternative to a later meal—yet one that doesn’t trumpet your frugality. Hotels, restaurants and catering halls charge less for a daytime meal than an evening one, including space-rental fees. Also, it’s not necessary to serve alcohol at brunch—most people are not quite up to imbibing when they’ve barely gotten out of bed—and this can save you a bundle. Meanwhile, the food you’ll be serving is yummy and comforting—a leisurely breakfast is such a decadent luxury in this day and age. Décor needn’t be elaborate at this late-morning event.
The very idea of a brunch connotes informality. Lovers-of-all-things-relaxed will appreciate the fact that this party doesn’t require layers of chiffon tablecloths, tubfuls of Casablanca lilies or hours of conga lines. Guests not only don’t expect to dance this early in the day—they are probably too sleepy to even think about it. Background music provided by a pianist, bluegrass trio, or even a well-chosen selection of jazz CDs is enough to put everyone in the mood.
Of course, the best reason of all for a brunch reception is that your guests will love it!
What is a brunch reception?
Convivial and informal, a wedding brunch is celebrated by a late breakfast or early lunch. A brunch is best suited for a wedding of not more than 100 guests—otherwise it’s hard to keep it feeling relaxed. While there are no definitive rules, a brunch usually starts between 11 a.m. and noon. (Keep in mind, your ceremony would need to be held about an hour before.) Announce that it’s a brunch on your invitation. Guests will realize they are being invited to a cool and casual wedding—no formal dress required and no etiquette police in attendance.
The place
You could host a brunch anywhere, of course, but there are certain venues that seem most harmonious with the hour: a hotel or banquet space with plenty of windows and light. A fireplace is heavenly in the winter; garden views are great in warmer months. Find a space that looks cheerful in the daytime. The site itself should feel informal, cozy and welcoming—couches and overstuffed armchairs are big plusses. Go with a light color palette, and less formal materials like burlaps and cottons. The best brunches have the feel of being in someone’s home.
The big picture
INVITATIONS
Starting with your invitations, keep the feeling light, unfussy and simple, but not boring! I chose a group of handmade cards from Studio Daedre (888/454-5317). The design of a vibrant bouquet of flowers worked well for the menu, invitation and place cards; the center of the flowers are embedded with silver glitter, adding a bit of glitz without too much glam for a daytime wedding.
Glorie Austern of the Calligraphy Company, Secaucus, NJ, hand-lettered the pieces in matching violet ink. Keep your stationery choices for this party simple, otherwise your invitation might be incongruous with the mood you are creating. Work with your printer to find bright colors and less formal typefaces that convey the spirit of the day.
TABLE SETTINGS
For the table setting, hammock-stripe place mats and a table runner from TAG (800/621- 8350) placed over a wooden table proclaim this a sunny, informal party. The lush-yet- understated centerpiece was created by Jen Stone of Stonekelly Events and Florals, New York City. It’s a wonderful combination of full blossoms emerging from a glass- encased still life of floating limes.
The table is set with crisp white china and wooden-handle cutlery from Tri Serve Party Rental, New York City. I completed the look with playful crayon-color ball candles from TAG. Everything works in concert for a table that’s pretty, festive and not at all imposing.
FAVORS
Charming scented favors—miniature apple and pear candles—can be presented in beribboned boxes as take-home tokens of thanks.
The Menu
Brunch means hearty breakfast foods:: waffles, pancakes, hash browns, smoked salmon, and eggs Benedict. I’ve hosted brunches where the whole meal centered around caviar and crème fraîche omelettes. You can also use fruits and veggies in abundance, for a healthy, light repast. Mmmm—but there are lots of other possibilities, too.
I called superstar chef David Burke (the quintessentially American chef for the quintessentially American meal) to help me create an out-of-the-ordinary food fantasy. Chef Burke, the VP of culinary development for the Smith & Wollensky Restaurant Group, created a meal that has a lot more spunk and elegance than breakfast, but is still light enough to keep your guests awake for the cake-cutting.
Before the meal I suggest a half hour for cocktails. It gives everyone time to shift moods after the emotions of the ceremony and before they sit down to eat. If you do decide to serve drinks, there are many that seem made for this hour of the day: the classic mimosa (champagne and orange juice) embellished with raspberry syrup; Ramos Gin Fizz; Bloody Marys and the like. For this reception, I created a cocktail (the Blushing Bride) as much for the visual appeal as for the flavor.
For the passed hors d’oeuvres I selected Gourmet Pops (available at GourmetPops.com and Les Chateaux de France, 516/239-6795), a new creation of David Burke’s: swanky, sophisticated ”lollipops” made of foie gras, goat cheese or smoked salmon. Each is only one bite, and they are the perfect palate teasers for the meal to follow.
As for the wedding cake, you certainly could go all out if you desire to, but brunch doesn’t call for an elaborate, flower-and-frosting-laden extravaganza. You might opt for homespun strawberry shortcake, a layered pound cake or a simple banana cake. I stayed the course here and asked the great retro-style Buttercup Bake Shop (212/350- 4144) to conjure a wedding cake in keeping with the day. The result was a buttery, rich, lemon Bundt cake garnished with sugared fruits—beautiful in its simplicity, and one that works well with fruit kebobs for dessert.
COCKTAIL
Blushing Bride
PASSED HORS D'OEUVRES
Smoked Salmon Pops
Hudson Valley Foie Gras Pops
Goat Cheese Pops
FIRST COURSE
Chilled Shrimp and Asparagus with Gazpacho Vinaigrette
Gazpacho Vinaigrette
MAIN COURSE
Veal Steak and Eggs with Zucchini/Crab Fritters and
Red Pepper Marmalade
Green Bean Salad, Shoe-String Potatoes
DESSERT
Strawberry and Mango Kebobs with Orange Mint Syrup
WEDDING CAKE
Buttercup Bake Shop Lemon Bundt
Welcome to the ins and outs of a variety of reception styles—right down to the menu. Here, wedding planner assembles all the elements for a delightful brunch reception.
Why have a brunch reception?
There are many reasons to consider celebrating your nuptials with a brunch. First, it can be a more economical alternative to a later meal—yet one that doesn’t trumpet your frugality. Hotels, restaurants and catering halls charge less for a daytime meal than an evening one, including space-rental fees. Also, it’s not necessary to serve alcohol at brunch—most people are not quite up to imbibing when they’ve barely gotten out of bed—and this can save you a bundle. Meanwhile, the food you’ll be serving is yummy and comforting—a leisurely breakfast is such a decadent luxury in this day and age. Décor needn’t be elaborate at this late-morning event.
The very idea of a brunch connotes informality. Lovers-of-all-things-relaxed will appreciate the fact that this party doesn’t require layers of chiffon tablecloths, tubfuls of Casablanca lilies or hours of conga lines. Guests not only don’t expect to dance this early in the day—they are probably too sleepy to even think about it. Background music provided by a pianist, bluegrass trio, or even a well-chosen selection of jazz CDs is enough to put everyone in the mood.
Of course, the best reason of all for a brunch reception is that your guests will love it!
What is a brunch reception?
Convivial and informal, a wedding brunch is celebrated by a late breakfast or early lunch. A brunch is best suited for a wedding of not more than 100 guests—otherwise it’s hard to keep it feeling relaxed. While there are no definitive rules, a brunch usually starts between 11 a.m. and noon. (Keep in mind, your ceremony would need to be held about an hour before.) Announce that it’s a brunch on your invitation. Guests will realize they are being invited to a cool and casual wedding—no formal dress required and no etiquette police in attendance.
The place
You could host a brunch anywhere, of course, but there are certain venues that seem most harmonious with the hour: a hotel or banquet space with plenty of windows and light. A fireplace is heavenly in the winter; garden views are great in warmer months. Find a space that looks cheerful in the daytime. The site itself should feel informal, cozy and welcoming—couches and overstuffed armchairs are big plusses. Go with a light color palette, and less formal materials like burlaps and cottons. The best brunches have the feel of being in someone’s home.
The big picture
INVITATIONS
Starting with your invitations, keep the feeling light, unfussy and simple, but not boring! I chose a group of handmade cards from Studio Daedre (888/454-5317). The design of a vibrant bouquet of flowers worked well for the menu, invitation and place cards; the center of the flowers are embedded with silver glitter, adding a bit of glitz without too much glam for a daytime wedding.
Glorie Austern of the Calligraphy Company, Secaucus, NJ, hand-lettered the pieces in matching violet ink. Keep your stationery choices for this party simple, otherwise your invitation might be incongruous with the mood you are creating. Work with your printer to find bright colors and less formal typefaces that convey the spirit of the day.
TABLE SETTINGS
For the table setting, hammock-stripe place mats and a table runner from TAG (800/621- 8350) placed over a wooden table proclaim this a sunny, informal party. The lush-yet- understated centerpiece was created by Jen Stone of Stonekelly Events and Florals, New York City. It’s a wonderful combination of full blossoms emerging from a glass- encased still life of floating limes.
The table is set with crisp white china and wooden-handle cutlery from Tri Serve Party Rental, New York City. I completed the look with playful crayon-color ball candles from TAG. Everything works in concert for a table that’s pretty, festive and not at all imposing.
FAVORS
Charming scented favors—miniature apple and pear candles—can be presented in beribboned boxes as take-home tokens of thanks.
The Menu
Brunch means hearty breakfast foods:: waffles, pancakes, hash browns, smoked salmon, and eggs Benedict. I’ve hosted brunches where the whole meal centered around caviar and crème fraîche omelettes. You can also use fruits and veggies in abundance, for a healthy, light repast. Mmmm—but there are lots of other possibilities, too.
I called superstar chef David Burke (the quintessentially American chef for the quintessentially American meal) to help me create an out-of-the-ordinary food fantasy. Chef Burke, the VP of culinary development for the Smith & Wollensky Restaurant Group, created a meal that has a lot more spunk and elegance than breakfast, but is still light enough to keep your guests awake for the cake-cutting.
Before the meal I suggest a half hour for cocktails. It gives everyone time to shift moods after the emotions of the ceremony and before they sit down to eat. If you do decide to serve drinks, there are many that seem made for this hour of the day: the classic mimosa (champagne and orange juice) embellished with raspberry syrup; Ramos Gin Fizz; Bloody Marys and the like. For this reception, I created a cocktail (the Blushing Bride) as much for the visual appeal as for the flavor.
For the passed hors d’oeuvres I selected Gourmet Pops (available at GourmetPops.com and Les Chateaux de France, 516/239-6795), a new creation of David Burke’s: swanky, sophisticated ”lollipops” made of foie gras, goat cheese or smoked salmon. Each is only one bite, and they are the perfect palate teasers for the meal to follow.
As for the wedding cake, you certainly could go all out if you desire to, but brunch doesn’t call for an elaborate, flower-and-frosting-laden extravaganza. You might opt for homespun strawberry shortcake, a layered pound cake or a simple banana cake. I stayed the course here and asked the great retro-style Buttercup Bake Shop (212/350- 4144) to conjure a wedding cake in keeping with the day. The result was a buttery, rich, lemon Bundt cake garnished with sugared fruits—beautiful in its simplicity, and one that works well with fruit kebobs for dessert.
COCKTAIL
Blushing Bride
- 2 ounces pineapple juice
- 2 ounces orange juice
- 1 ounce vodka
- grenadine
PASSED HORS D'OEUVRES
Smoked Salmon Pops
Hudson Valley Foie Gras Pops
Goat Cheese Pops
FIRST COURSE
Chilled Shrimp and Asparagus with Gazpacho Vinaigrette
- 16 to 20 asparagus spears
- 8 to 12 shrimp
Gazpacho Vinaigrette
- 2 large tomatoes
- 1/4 cucumber (peeled, seeded and chopped)
- 1/2 clove garlic
- 3 tablespoons red-wine
- vinegar
- 1/4 cup olive oil
- Juice of 1 lemon
- Salt and pepper to taste
MAIN COURSE
Veal Steak and Eggs with Zucchini/Crab Fritters and
Red Pepper Marmalade
Green Bean Salad, Shoe-String Potatoes
DESSERT
Strawberry and Mango Kebobs with Orange Mint Syrup
WEDDING CAKE
Buttercup Bake Shop Lemon Bundt
Know Your Catering Lingo
Want to talk food like a pro with your wedding caterer? Then put on your learning cap and get to know these terms.
Are French and Russian service completely foreign to you? What does your caterer mean by a gratuity? Here's a handy translation of the terms your caterer uses so you can speak her language fluently.
Buffet. Guests help themselves from large displays of food. Buffets are great for offering a variety of dishes and allowing guests to pick and choose.
Cocktail Reception. This elegant type of reception usually runs from around 4 to 7 p.m. and features substantial hors d'oeuvres or a light buffet.
Consumption Bar. The bartenders keep a running tab, and you pay the final bill at the end of the evening, based on how much your guests drank. A good idea if your guests are light drinkers.
Entree. The main course of your reception meal.
Family Style. Platters of food are placed at each table and guests pass the platters around and serve themselves.
Food Stations. The hottest trend in reception dining. Similar to buffet service in that guests serve themselves, but instead of one long table, food is divided into several themed locations, such as a pasta or seafood table .
French Service. No, your waiters will not be wearing berets when they serve your meal. Instead, expect waiters to serve each guest individually from a tray held by another waiter.
Gratuity. In simpler terms, the tip. Caterers usually include this 20 percent fee in their final tally.
Groom's Cake. A Southern tradition that's spread nationwide, this cake, served at the rehearsal dinner or reception, can be any color, shape or flavor (fruitcake is traditional) and is usually decorated to reflect a hobby or interest of the groom's. Your superstitious unmarried friends may want to save a little cake to put under their pillows that night in the hopes they'll dream of their future spouses.
Mixed Drinks. Drinks that require more than one ingredient or special mixing equipment. Providing them at your reception could raise the bar tab.
Off-Site Locations. Reception sites that have few or none of the services and supplies you need. You will need to contract for everything from food to silverware.
On-Site Location. Reception sites that offer nearly everything you need, from catering and bar service to tables and linens.
Open Bar. You pay a flat fee for your guests to drink all night.
Plated Service. The plates are already full of food when they're brought from the kitchen and placed in front of your seated guests.
Poured Drinks. Easy-to-make drinks—the ones require only one ingredient and aren't shaken or stirred.
Premium Brands. Top-of-the-line liquors. You'll pay more if you stock the bar with these “name” brands instead of cheaper, generic house brands.
Russian Service. Similar to French service, except the extremely coordinated waiters hold the trays of food in one hand and serve the guests with the other.
Tray/Butlered Service. Waiters walk among your guests with trays of hors d'oeuvres or drinks.
Are French and Russian service completely foreign to you? What does your caterer mean by a gratuity? Here's a handy translation of the terms your caterer uses so you can speak her language fluently.
Buffet. Guests help themselves from large displays of food. Buffets are great for offering a variety of dishes and allowing guests to pick and choose.
Cocktail Reception. This elegant type of reception usually runs from around 4 to 7 p.m. and features substantial hors d'oeuvres or a light buffet.
Consumption Bar. The bartenders keep a running tab, and you pay the final bill at the end of the evening, based on how much your guests drank. A good idea if your guests are light drinkers.
Entree. The main course of your reception meal.
Family Style. Platters of food are placed at each table and guests pass the platters around and serve themselves.
Food Stations. The hottest trend in reception dining. Similar to buffet service in that guests serve themselves, but instead of one long table, food is divided into several themed locations, such as a pasta or seafood table .
French Service. No, your waiters will not be wearing berets when they serve your meal. Instead, expect waiters to serve each guest individually from a tray held by another waiter.
Gratuity. In simpler terms, the tip. Caterers usually include this 20 percent fee in their final tally.
Groom's Cake. A Southern tradition that's spread nationwide, this cake, served at the rehearsal dinner or reception, can be any color, shape or flavor (fruitcake is traditional) and is usually decorated to reflect a hobby or interest of the groom's. Your superstitious unmarried friends may want to save a little cake to put under their pillows that night in the hopes they'll dream of their future spouses.
Mixed Drinks. Drinks that require more than one ingredient or special mixing equipment. Providing them at your reception could raise the bar tab.
Off-Site Locations. Reception sites that have few or none of the services and supplies you need. You will need to contract for everything from food to silverware.
On-Site Location. Reception sites that offer nearly everything you need, from catering and bar service to tables and linens.
Open Bar. You pay a flat fee for your guests to drink all night.
Plated Service. The plates are already full of food when they're brought from the kitchen and placed in front of your seated guests.
Poured Drinks. Easy-to-make drinks—the ones require only one ingredient and aren't shaken or stirred.
Premium Brands. Top-of-the-line liquors. You'll pay more if you stock the bar with these “name” brands instead of cheaper, generic house brands.
Russian Service. Similar to French service, except the extremely coordinated waiters hold the trays of food in one hand and serve the guests with the other.
Tray/Butlered Service. Waiters walk among your guests with trays of hors d'oeuvres or drinks.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Types of Wedding Ceremonies: Native Indian: Southwest American
As a result of the influence of the Spanish missionaries, many Native Southwest American weddings these days are held in missions with
chapels or in Catholic churches.
For traditional weddings, along with the extended families of the bride and groom, the community gathers together with an officiating elder at the center. Decorative baskets holding corn (a fertility symbol as well as a traditional food) are presented to the couple. Both Navajo and Paiute weavers create willow wedding baskets to hold cornmeal for blessings or prayers; the opening of the ceremonial basket is always directed toward the east, a sacred direction from which no harm is supposed to pass. The Navajo family system is traditionally matrilinear, so, in the past, when a man married, he went to live with his wife and her parents.
The use of the double-spouted pottery wedding vessel may be a relatively recent addition to the traditional ceremony. In Pueblo wedding ceremonies, one spout of the vase represents the husband while the other represents the wife, with the looped handle symbolizing the unity that is achieved with marriage. In a traditional ceremony, to help consummate the marriage, the Pueblos would drink a nectar from either spout.
The Native American Church, a continuation of the ancient Peyote religion which used peyote, a cactus with psychedelic properties, combines Christian beliefs with the peyote sacrament. Peyote, with mescaline as its main active ingredient, is viewed by the church as the manner through which members can commune with the divinity. During a wedding, drums containing peyote tea are banged on, and then the tea is drunk. Some worshippers shake rattles that are shaped like peyote buttons. Congregation members ingest crushed grains of peyote.
chapels or in Catholic churches.
For traditional weddings, along with the extended families of the bride and groom, the community gathers together with an officiating elder at the center. Decorative baskets holding corn (a fertility symbol as well as a traditional food) are presented to the couple. Both Navajo and Paiute weavers create willow wedding baskets to hold cornmeal for blessings or prayers; the opening of the ceremonial basket is always directed toward the east, a sacred direction from which no harm is supposed to pass. The Navajo family system is traditionally matrilinear, so, in the past, when a man married, he went to live with his wife and her parents.
The use of the double-spouted pottery wedding vessel may be a relatively recent addition to the traditional ceremony. In Pueblo wedding ceremonies, one spout of the vase represents the husband while the other represents the wife, with the looped handle symbolizing the unity that is achieved with marriage. In a traditional ceremony, to help consummate the marriage, the Pueblos would drink a nectar from either spout.
The Native American Church, a continuation of the ancient Peyote religion which used peyote, a cactus with psychedelic properties, combines Christian beliefs with the peyote sacrament. Peyote, with mescaline as its main active ingredient, is viewed by the church as the manner through which members can commune with the divinity. During a wedding, drums containing peyote tea are banged on, and then the tea is drunk. Some worshippers shake rattles that are shaped like peyote buttons. Congregation members ingest crushed grains of peyote.
Types of Wedding Ceremonies: Nigerian
Western-style church weddings with white dresses for the brides are the norm in Nigeria, according to Okey Chigbo, associate editor of the magazine Equinox in Toronto, Ontario. Born and raised in Nigeria but now living in Canada, Chigbo was married in Canada to his Trinidadian bride in a short civil ceremony held in a hotel suite, with vows written by the couple. "Chances are that if you were invited to a wedding in southern Nigeria today," he says, "it would likely be a Western-style wedding, usually with a church ceremony and a reception afterward."
The influence of the church in Nigeria, Chigbo explains, occurred because "by about 1910, virtually all of the Igbo land (Eastern Nigeria) was conquered by the British and there were missionaries before that. The Igbo people, united by more or less a common language as far back as the turn of the century, was made up of a number of different tribes." Among the Igbo, there is "no real corresponding wedding ceremony per se." A wedding, traditionally, was a long, drawn-out process that could take up to a year, not just a day or even two weeks. It was like a courtship between families rather than between the male and female.
According to Chigbo, the following process would take place, although it could differ slightly from tribe to tribe. The groom's family would thoroughly investigate the bride's family and vice versa. For instance, questions would be asked regarding the girl's behavior and whether she would make a good wife. The most significant part of the year-long process was the visits. "The family of the groom would visit the family of the bride to notify them of the intention." The groom's family would visit with lots of mmanya, a type of wine. During this procedure, called "the carrying of the wine," there would be libations, and the ancestors would be called on to bless the union. On the occasion of the groom's family's second visit, "the bride would be called into the room to see whether she wanted to marry him," says Chigbo. "In theory, she's allowed to turn him down. After a number of visits back and forth, during one of the visits, the groom's family gives gifts to the bride's family. It could be cows, yams, bags of money. After the gift is received, the bride goes to the groom's family to spend time one to three months with them to see if they're compatible. If everyone feels she's compatible, the wedding feast is held for family and friends, and could consist of pounded yams, soups, and wonderful meats; there is no word for "dessert" in the Igbo vocabulary. After the feast, the bride goes to her husband's home. In the Igbo community, when a woman goes to the husband's house, she's considered married to the family and she's referred to as nwuye anyi, which means 'our wife.'"
The influence of the church in Nigeria, Chigbo explains, occurred because "by about 1910, virtually all of the Igbo land (Eastern Nigeria) was conquered by the British and there were missionaries before that. The Igbo people, united by more or less a common language as far back as the turn of the century, was made up of a number of different tribes." Among the Igbo, there is "no real corresponding wedding ceremony per se." A wedding, traditionally, was a long, drawn-out process that could take up to a year, not just a day or even two weeks. It was like a courtship between families rather than between the male and female.
According to Chigbo, the following process would take place, although it could differ slightly from tribe to tribe. The groom's family would thoroughly investigate the bride's family and vice versa. For instance, questions would be asked regarding the girl's behavior and whether she would make a good wife. The most significant part of the year-long process was the visits. "The family of the groom would visit the family of the bride to notify them of the intention." The groom's family would visit with lots of mmanya, a type of wine. During this procedure, called "the carrying of the wine," there would be libations, and the ancestors would be called on to bless the union. On the occasion of the groom's family's second visit, "the bride would be called into the room to see whether she wanted to marry him," says Chigbo. "In theory, she's allowed to turn him down. After a number of visits back and forth, during one of the visits, the groom's family gives gifts to the bride's family. It could be cows, yams, bags of money. After the gift is received, the bride goes to the groom's family to spend time one to three months with them to see if they're compatible. If everyone feels she's compatible, the wedding feast is held for family and friends, and could consist of pounded yams, soups, and wonderful meats; there is no word for "dessert" in the Igbo vocabulary. After the feast, the bride goes to her husband's home. In the Igbo community, when a woman goes to the husband's house, she's considered married to the family and she's referred to as nwuye anyi, which means 'our wife.'"
Types of Wedding Ceremonies: Native Indian: Northeast North American
As a result of the influence of the Spanish missionaries, many Native Southwest American weddings these days are held in missions with
chapels or in Catholic churches.
For traditional weddings, along with the extended families of the bride and groom, the community gathers together with an officiating elder at the center. Decorative baskets holding corn (a fertility symbol as well as a traditional food) are presented to the couple. Both Navajo and Paiute weavers create willow wedding baskets to hold cornmeal for blessings or prayers; the opening of the ceremonial basket is always directed toward the east, a sacred direction from which no harm is supposed to pass. The Navajo family system is traditionally matrilinear, so, in the past, when a man married, he went to live with his wife and her parents.
The use of the double-spouted pottery wedding vessel may be a relatively recent addition to the traditional ceremony. In Pueblo wedding ceremonies, one spout of the vase represents the husband while the other represents the wife, with the looped handle symbolizing the unity that is achieved with marriage. In a traditional ceremony, to help consummate the marriage, the Pueblos would drink a nectar from either spout.
The Native American Church, a continuation of the ancient Peyote religion which used peyote, a cactus with psychedelic properties, combines Christian beliefs with the peyote sacrament. Peyote, with mescaline as its main active ingredient, is viewed by the church as the manner through which members can commune with the divinity. During a wedding, drums containing peyote tea are banged on, and then the tea is drunk. Some worshippers shake rattles that are shaped like peyote buttons. Congregation members ingest crushed grains of peyote.
chapels or in Catholic churches.
For traditional weddings, along with the extended families of the bride and groom, the community gathers together with an officiating elder at the center. Decorative baskets holding corn (a fertility symbol as well as a traditional food) are presented to the couple. Both Navajo and Paiute weavers create willow wedding baskets to hold cornmeal for blessings or prayers; the opening of the ceremonial basket is always directed toward the east, a sacred direction from which no harm is supposed to pass. The Navajo family system is traditionally matrilinear, so, in the past, when a man married, he went to live with his wife and her parents.
The use of the double-spouted pottery wedding vessel may be a relatively recent addition to the traditional ceremony. In Pueblo wedding ceremonies, one spout of the vase represents the husband while the other represents the wife, with the looped handle symbolizing the unity that is achieved with marriage. In a traditional ceremony, to help consummate the marriage, the Pueblos would drink a nectar from either spout.
The Native American Church, a continuation of the ancient Peyote religion which used peyote, a cactus with psychedelic properties, combines Christian beliefs with the peyote sacrament. Peyote, with mescaline as its main active ingredient, is viewed by the church as the manner through which members can commune with the divinity. During a wedding, drums containing peyote tea are banged on, and then the tea is drunk. Some worshippers shake rattles that are shaped like peyote buttons. Congregation members ingest crushed grains of peyote.
Types of Wedding Ceremonies: Muslim
"Followers of Islam adhere to a religion that is worldwide, so that although the basic format of the wedding ceremony is the same, there will be differences among the different cultures," says Haroon Salamat, chairman of Toronto and Region Islamic Congregation (TARIC).
Here are some important points to help in understanding the service. The offer of marriage comes from the female, usually through her father or another male relative. There must be no collusion; the couple must agree to marry of their own free will. Muslim women must marry Muslim men; however, Muslim men may marry non-Muslim women, but their children must be raised Muslim. After accepting an offer of marriage, a groom will give his bride a mahr, a gift. It can be property, a home, jewelry, or even something such as education. (In cases where the groom's family is not very well off financially, the groom, who may be better educated than the bride, may give the gift of literacy, offering to teach his bride how to read and write to help improve her lot.) Unless the marriage breaks up before the wedding is consummated or only lasts a very short time, the gift remains the bride's and she can use it as she pleases.
At the wedding, the bride and groom are separated, either in different parts of the hall or in different rooms. They may or may not be able to see each other. Guests are also separated by gender, although in some Western cultures, the groups may be mixed. The wali, the bride's representative, comes forward for the ceremony. He will answer for the bride when questioned by the officiator. The groom, representing himself, also joins the wali and the officiator. At the ceremony, "once the proposal has been accepted and the gift has been agreed upon and the person overseeing the ceremony believes the couple are marrying of their own will, he pronounces them man and wife," says Salamat. "It takes about five minutes. The basic ceremony is very simple." Any Muslim who understands the traditions of Islam may perform the ceremony, although many mosques have marriage officers who can oversee marriages on behalf of the province/state. "The most important thing for a Muslim is to be married in the eyes of God."
Congratulating the bride or groom with a kiss on the cheek after the service may be frowned upon, although that, too, may be changing in some Western cultures. Take cues from the guests who are more familiar with the culture.
Here are some important points to help in understanding the service. The offer of marriage comes from the female, usually through her father or another male relative. There must be no collusion; the couple must agree to marry of their own free will. Muslim women must marry Muslim men; however, Muslim men may marry non-Muslim women, but their children must be raised Muslim. After accepting an offer of marriage, a groom will give his bride a mahr, a gift. It can be property, a home, jewelry, or even something such as education. (In cases where the groom's family is not very well off financially, the groom, who may be better educated than the bride, may give the gift of literacy, offering to teach his bride how to read and write to help improve her lot.) Unless the marriage breaks up before the wedding is consummated or only lasts a very short time, the gift remains the bride's and she can use it as she pleases.
At the wedding, the bride and groom are separated, either in different parts of the hall or in different rooms. They may or may not be able to see each other. Guests are also separated by gender, although in some Western cultures, the groups may be mixed. The wali, the bride's representative, comes forward for the ceremony. He will answer for the bride when questioned by the officiator. The groom, representing himself, also joins the wali and the officiator. At the ceremony, "once the proposal has been accepted and the gift has been agreed upon and the person overseeing the ceremony believes the couple are marrying of their own will, he pronounces them man and wife," says Salamat. "It takes about five minutes. The basic ceremony is very simple." Any Muslim who understands the traditions of Islam may perform the ceremony, although many mosques have marriage officers who can oversee marriages on behalf of the province/state. "The most important thing for a Muslim is to be married in the eyes of God."
Congratulating the bride or groom with a kiss on the cheek after the service may be frowned upon, although that, too, may be changing in some Western cultures. Take cues from the guests who are more familiar with the culture.
Types of Wedding Ceremonies: Mormon
There are basically two kinds of Mormon wedding ceremonies: the temple ceremony and the chapel ceremony. The former, performed by an official of the temple, is reserved for "active members of the Church who adhere to certain standards," says Bishop Glenn Pruden of the Hamilton First Ward, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Hamilton, Ontario. He says that in Canada, there are only two temples: one, built around 1920, in Cardston, Alberta, and another, built in 1990, in Toronto, Ontario. "When the Mormon pioneers settled into the Salt Lake Valley area in 1847, following that (1847 to 1880s), groups of pioneers were sent out to colonize in the intermountain west area (Arizona, Idaho, Nevada, and Utah) and the southern tip of Alberta and the northern tip of Mexico."
The temple ceremony is fairly simple. "At the temple, we believe that the couple is sealed together 'for time and all eternity.'" Bishop Pruden explains that according to the Mormon Church, the members are not allowed to discuss the actual ceremony from a temple service because it is considered sacred.
The restrictions, however, do not apply to a chapel ceremony. "In a chapel service, it would be very similar to one that would be conducted in a Protestant church," he says. While the ceremony may be formal in the sense that the bride may wear a white dress, the groom a suit, and the guests their Sunday best, the service "is usually organized on a less ceremonious basis than that of the High Anglican, Roman Catholic, or Greek Orthodox service." For instance, there would be a wedding march, but a simplified one. The organist would play a prelude to the ceremony. The officiator, usually the bishop (similar to a "minister" in the Protestant service) of the ward (or "congregation" in the Protestant service), or the president of the stake (similar to a "diocese"; usually 10 to 12 wards in a stake) would conduct the service. The entrance of the wedding party would be similar to that in the Protestant ceremony. The service may include an opening prayer from the bishop, a musical number, a short speech from the bishop about marriage, then the vows, the exchange of rings (not mandatory, but it usually takes place), and the signing of the register. This entire process may last just 15 to 20 minutes.
The temple ceremony is fairly simple. "At the temple, we believe that the couple is sealed together 'for time and all eternity.'" Bishop Pruden explains that according to the Mormon Church, the members are not allowed to discuss the actual ceremony from a temple service because it is considered sacred.
The restrictions, however, do not apply to a chapel ceremony. "In a chapel service, it would be very similar to one that would be conducted in a Protestant church," he says. While the ceremony may be formal in the sense that the bride may wear a white dress, the groom a suit, and the guests their Sunday best, the service "is usually organized on a less ceremonious basis than that of the High Anglican, Roman Catholic, or Greek Orthodox service." For instance, there would be a wedding march, but a simplified one. The organist would play a prelude to the ceremony. The officiator, usually the bishop (similar to a "minister" in the Protestant service) of the ward (or "congregation" in the Protestant service), or the president of the stake (similar to a "diocese"; usually 10 to 12 wards in a stake) would conduct the service. The entrance of the wedding party would be similar to that in the Protestant ceremony. The service may include an opening prayer from the bishop, a musical number, a short speech from the bishop about marriage, then the vows, the exchange of rings (not mandatory, but it usually takes place), and the signing of the register. This entire process may last just 15 to 20 minutes.
Types of Wedding Ceremonies: Mexican
Mexican weddings are generally church ceremonies with the white gown for the bride and a tuxedo for the groom. Here are some common traditions observed at Mexican Catholic (see Roman Catholic) weddings. Love is united through religion with the use of a lazo, a huge rosary that is wrapped around the bride and groom as they are kneeling at the altar while the priest says a prayer for the couple. There are also gifts presented during the ceremony: coins (silver or gold), a Bible, and a rosary. These are handed to the couple by padrinos, usually two special people the couple has chosen. The coins symbolize prosperity.
Types of Wedding Ceremonies: Mennonite
"When most people think of Mennonite, they think of the more conservative ones, the more visible people, when really these represent only about 10 percent of Mennonites," says Joe Snyder, manager of the Mennonite Meeting Place in St. Jacobs, Ontario. The "conservative" Mennonites broke away in 1889. The Mennonite way of life varies from very conservative to very modern, with many degrees in between. The group represents 850,000 across the world in 60 different countries, speaking 100 different languages.
A modern Mennonite service would differ little from the more mainstream Protestant wedding ceremonies. The service would be held in a church where guests would be encouraged to participate in hymns. The ceremony may not last much longer than half an hour.
Guests attending a conservative ceremony would be mostly close family and friends. The ceremony would be held at home and may take a few hours, including a number of sermons.
A modern Mennonite service would differ little from the more mainstream Protestant wedding ceremonies. The service would be held in a church where guests would be encouraged to participate in hymns. The ceremony may not last much longer than half an hour.
Guests attending a conservative ceremony would be mostly close family and friends. The ceremony would be held at home and may take a few hours, including a number of sermons.
Types of Wedding Ceremonies: Jewish
Jewish weddings can vary greatly, with differences among the Orthodox, Conservative, and Reform branches. Each rabbi and synagogue could also have different interpretations of the ceremony. A Jewish wedding does not need to be performed in a synagogue or temple; the ceremony could take place almost anywhere, including a hotel, hall, or club.
A bride will often wear a face veil, especially if she is Orthodox. If the veiling ritual takes place, it occurs just before the ceremony, when the groom will veil the bride after he verifies that she is actually the woman he plans on marrying.
For Orthodox and Conservative ceremonies, all the men present will cover their heads with a yarmulke (a skull cap) or silk top hat. The head covering, a mark of respect in the presence of God, is a requirement for all men, including non-Jewish males, at the ceremony. Normally, Jewish men take along their own yarmulke. Extra yarmulkes, sometimes specially printed as a souvenir of the occasion, are provided for non-Jewish guests. The skull cap is meant to sit on top of the head. Sometimes, people secure it with bobby pins. However, if it happens to fall off, there's no harm done; simply put it back on.
Opposite to the Christian wedding, the seating arrangements at Orthodox and Conservative Jewish ceremonies have the bride's family and friends on the right side and the groom's family and friends on the left. Local custom will determine the order of the processsion and positions during the ceremony. The Orthodox and Conservative procession generally includes the groom and both sets of parents, sometimes even the grandparents.
The ceremony is performed under a huppah, a canopy often of embroidered cloth or flowers. Sometimes it's a prayer shawl spread across four poles. Special friends or relatives may have the honor of holding the poles. Depending on the couple's cultural background, personal preference, and local custom, the language of the service will vary, possibly with a combination of Hebrew and English. After vows are exchanged, the groom places a plain gold band on the bride's right index finger (in Orthodox and Conservative ceremonies) or on her left ring finger (for Reform ceremonies). Then the rabbi may read the ketubah, the traditional marriage contract. At some point during the service, the bride and groom will sip the ritual wine. Near the end of the ceremony, the traditional seven blessings will be recited or sung, after which the tradition of crushing the wine glass beneath the groom's heel takes place. The glass is often wrapped in a napkin or handkerchief before the groom stamps on it. The breaking of the glass represents the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem and acts as a reminder that in life and in marriage, there are times of sorrow and joy. Sometimes, after the closing benediction, guests will call out "Mazel tov!" (Congratulations or Good Luck).
For the Reform wedding, the procession, recession, and other parts of the ceremony are very similar to the Protestant service. There may be a double-ring ceremony. And there may or may not be a huppah.
A bride will often wear a face veil, especially if she is Orthodox. If the veiling ritual takes place, it occurs just before the ceremony, when the groom will veil the bride after he verifies that she is actually the woman he plans on marrying.
For Orthodox and Conservative ceremonies, all the men present will cover their heads with a yarmulke (a skull cap) or silk top hat. The head covering, a mark of respect in the presence of God, is a requirement for all men, including non-Jewish males, at the ceremony. Normally, Jewish men take along their own yarmulke. Extra yarmulkes, sometimes specially printed as a souvenir of the occasion, are provided for non-Jewish guests. The skull cap is meant to sit on top of the head. Sometimes, people secure it with bobby pins. However, if it happens to fall off, there's no harm done; simply put it back on.
Opposite to the Christian wedding, the seating arrangements at Orthodox and Conservative Jewish ceremonies have the bride's family and friends on the right side and the groom's family and friends on the left. Local custom will determine the order of the processsion and positions during the ceremony. The Orthodox and Conservative procession generally includes the groom and both sets of parents, sometimes even the grandparents.
The ceremony is performed under a huppah, a canopy often of embroidered cloth or flowers. Sometimes it's a prayer shawl spread across four poles. Special friends or relatives may have the honor of holding the poles. Depending on the couple's cultural background, personal preference, and local custom, the language of the service will vary, possibly with a combination of Hebrew and English. After vows are exchanged, the groom places a plain gold band on the bride's right index finger (in Orthodox and Conservative ceremonies) or on her left ring finger (for Reform ceremonies). Then the rabbi may read the ketubah, the traditional marriage contract. At some point during the service, the bride and groom will sip the ritual wine. Near the end of the ceremony, the traditional seven blessings will be recited or sung, after which the tradition of crushing the wine glass beneath the groom's heel takes place. The glass is often wrapped in a napkin or handkerchief before the groom stamps on it. The breaking of the glass represents the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem and acts as a reminder that in life and in marriage, there are times of sorrow and joy. Sometimes, after the closing benediction, guests will call out "Mazel tov!" (Congratulations or Good Luck).
For the Reform wedding, the procession, recession, and other parts of the ceremony are very similar to the Protestant service. There may be a double-ring ceremony. And there may or may not be a huppah.
Types of Wedding Ceremonies: Japanese
In North America, most Japanese are quite Westernized, so they tend to favor church weddings that follow the customary Western traditions. In Japan, however, while Western-style weddings are popular, there are more traditional Japanese elements involved, and the marriage rituals vary from place to place, family to family, and class to class.
In Japan, there are four basic types of wedding ceremonies: Shinto (the native Japanese religion), Buddhist, Christian, and non-religious. The wedding ceremonies are not, however, called Shinto weddings or Christian weddings; in Japan, they are referred to as Shinto-style weddings and Christian-style weddings. This is because the religion of a wedding ceremony is often just a "style" and may not reflect the beliefs of the people involved.
The most traditional wedding ceremony is the Shinto-style ceremony that includes only the immediate families, the nakoudo (the go-betweens who arranged for the couple to meet, like matchmakers), and the priest. The bride wears a white kimono with a fancy headpiece while the groom wears a black kimono with a striped hakama (almost skirt-like pants) and a black jacket. The ceremony includes some readings and the drinking of nine sips of sake, three each from each of three cups. There is a belief in Shinto that three is a lucky number; the nine sips (3 x 3) is a ritual for good luck.
Historically, there has been a strong tendency for the Shinto and Buddhist religions to mix. That is why you would see a lot of similar things when you visit a Shinto shrine or a Buddhist temple. At the Buddhist-style wedding ceremony, a monk officiates. The ceremony involves juzu prayer beads (like a rosary, but shorter) and some placing of incense.
At a Christian-style wedding, the dress is the same as in the West, with brides in white gowns and grooms in tuxedos. These ceremonies, most likely based on Protestant services, are often held in dedicated wedding facilities that look like churches but are not real, active parishes. In such locations, the particular denomination of the officiator probably makes little difference. The church wedding, for most Japanese, is chosen just because they like the image of it.
The official reception, the hiroen, is held in a hotel or other banquet facility. This event may be attended by: friends of the couple and of the family; the couple's colleagues and bosses; former teachers; and generally anybody with some social standing relative to the couple. There may be a hundred or so guests. Walking into the lobby outside the banquet hall, guests will find a reception table where they check in. Here, guests hand in an envelope containing a gift of money; people don't give gifts of merchandise at the wedding. The money should be in a particular kind of envelope decorated with gold cord tied in a particular kind of knot. Be careful. The writing and the type of knot on the envelope is different for weddings and funerals. The envelopes are purchased ready-made. The amount of cash depends on the guest's relationship to the couple. Friends may give 30,000 yen (approx. US$300), while older, richer relatives or bosses may give 50,000 yen. Apparently, odd numbers (e.g., 3 for 30,000 or 5 for 50,000) are considered luckier or somehow better, perhaps because an even number can be divided into two, something considered inappropriate for a marriage. Guests also receive a gift, usually pretty expensive, as they leave.
After the official reception, an informal party, the nijikai, is held at a restaurant. This is more for the friends of the couple and will include a wider circle of people. Generally, the bride and groom wear an evening dress and suit for this low-key affair.
In Japan, there are four basic types of wedding ceremonies: Shinto (the native Japanese religion), Buddhist, Christian, and non-religious. The wedding ceremonies are not, however, called Shinto weddings or Christian weddings; in Japan, they are referred to as Shinto-style weddings and Christian-style weddings. This is because the religion of a wedding ceremony is often just a "style" and may not reflect the beliefs of the people involved.
The most traditional wedding ceremony is the Shinto-style ceremony that includes only the immediate families, the nakoudo (the go-betweens who arranged for the couple to meet, like matchmakers), and the priest. The bride wears a white kimono with a fancy headpiece while the groom wears a black kimono with a striped hakama (almost skirt-like pants) and a black jacket. The ceremony includes some readings and the drinking of nine sips of sake, three each from each of three cups. There is a belief in Shinto that three is a lucky number; the nine sips (3 x 3) is a ritual for good luck.
Historically, there has been a strong tendency for the Shinto and Buddhist religions to mix. That is why you would see a lot of similar things when you visit a Shinto shrine or a Buddhist temple. At the Buddhist-style wedding ceremony, a monk officiates. The ceremony involves juzu prayer beads (like a rosary, but shorter) and some placing of incense.
At a Christian-style wedding, the dress is the same as in the West, with brides in white gowns and grooms in tuxedos. These ceremonies, most likely based on Protestant services, are often held in dedicated wedding facilities that look like churches but are not real, active parishes. In such locations, the particular denomination of the officiator probably makes little difference. The church wedding, for most Japanese, is chosen just because they like the image of it.
The official reception, the hiroen, is held in a hotel or other banquet facility. This event may be attended by: friends of the couple and of the family; the couple's colleagues and bosses; former teachers; and generally anybody with some social standing relative to the couple. There may be a hundred or so guests. Walking into the lobby outside the banquet hall, guests will find a reception table where they check in. Here, guests hand in an envelope containing a gift of money; people don't give gifts of merchandise at the wedding. The money should be in a particular kind of envelope decorated with gold cord tied in a particular kind of knot. Be careful. The writing and the type of knot on the envelope is different for weddings and funerals. The envelopes are purchased ready-made. The amount of cash depends on the guest's relationship to the couple. Friends may give 30,000 yen (approx. US$300), while older, richer relatives or bosses may give 50,000 yen. Apparently, odd numbers (e.g., 3 for 30,000 or 5 for 50,000) are considered luckier or somehow better, perhaps because an even number can be divided into two, something considered inappropriate for a marriage. Guests also receive a gift, usually pretty expensive, as they leave.
After the official reception, an informal party, the nijikai, is held at a restaurant. This is more for the friends of the couple and will include a wider circle of people. Generally, the bride and groom wear an evening dress and suit for this low-key affair.
Types of Wedding Ceremonies: Hindu
Hindu wedding ceremonies vary greatly, depending on geographical location, family customs, and personal taste. Even within India, there are differences in the clothes, ornaments, rituals, food, and the length of the wedding celebrations, which in some cases can last for several days. Sometimes, the festivities are shortened if the couple, for instance, has only a limited amount of time available in India because the groom might live and work in another country. Or, as in the case of a couple I know in Canada, the Hindu rituals were shortened because the bride was Roman Catholic and the couple wished to incorporate both religions, with two different ceremonies, into a one-day celebration. There are many variations in Hindu weddings as the bride and groom select the traditional elements that hold the most meaning for them. The multi-day celebration could be reduced to one day or even a few hours. There are many rituals that take place before and after the actual wedding ceremony.
Traditionally, an auspicious date and time for the marriage ceremony would be chosen based on astrological charts. A typical Hindu wedding is more of a community party than a solemn, quiet church gathering. Guests would walk around in the temple and socialize during the ceremony. They would talk and partake of the food and beverages. Guests often would sit on the floor; however, chairs are becoming more common now.
Some of the following rituals may be incorporated into a Hindu wedding:
At a wedding ceremony, there could be a sacrificial pit where a holy fire is lit. A priest will officiate.
At some point during the ceremony, the couple may circle (seven times in most parts of India) the holy fire, chanting and throwing in offerings such as rice.
The bride and groom may exchange garlands of fresh flowers, placing them around each other's neck.
The father of the bride offers her hand in marriage first of all to the deities (in Hinduism, there is one supreme being, with all the other gods being aspects of the one God) and then to the groom, with the groom assuring him that he will take care of her.
An important part of the ceremony is "tying the knot," where a gold necklace is tied around the bride's neck by the groom.
The saptapadi portion of the ceremony is the part where the bride and groom take seven steps together toward a long and happy marriage; with each step, the couple prays for different blessings, including wealth, happiness, strength, and devotion.
At some point during the ceremony, the bride may stand on a stone (representing firmness and stability) to signify loyalty and faithfulness in the marriage.
Traditionally, an auspicious date and time for the marriage ceremony would be chosen based on astrological charts. A typical Hindu wedding is more of a community party than a solemn, quiet church gathering. Guests would walk around in the temple and socialize during the ceremony. They would talk and partake of the food and beverages. Guests often would sit on the floor; however, chairs are becoming more common now.
Some of the following rituals may be incorporated into a Hindu wedding:
At a wedding ceremony, there could be a sacrificial pit where a holy fire is lit. A priest will officiate.
At some point during the ceremony, the couple may circle (seven times in most parts of India) the holy fire, chanting and throwing in offerings such as rice.
The bride and groom may exchange garlands of fresh flowers, placing them around each other's neck.
The father of the bride offers her hand in marriage first of all to the deities (in Hinduism, there is one supreme being, with all the other gods being aspects of the one God) and then to the groom, with the groom assuring him that he will take care of her.
An important part of the ceremony is "tying the knot," where a gold necklace is tied around the bride's neck by the groom.
The saptapadi portion of the ceremony is the part where the bride and groom take seven steps together toward a long and happy marriage; with each step, the couple prays for different blessings, including wealth, happiness, strength, and devotion.
At some point during the ceremony, the bride may stand on a stone (representing firmness and stability) to signify loyalty and faithfulness in the marriage.
Types of Wedding Ceremonies: Greek Orthodox
When my Chinese friend Jacqueline Wong got married to a Greek man in an Orthodox ceremony, many guests were surprised that the priest kept calling her "Elizabeth." It was not a mistake. "Since 'Jacqueline' is not recognized as a Christian name," explains my friend, she had to pick an appropriate name, so she chose "Elizabeth."
The essential text and faith of the Greek Orthodox Church and the Ukrainian Orthodox Church are the same, with slight variations in the wedding ceremony. In the Greek service, the best man assists with the crowning of the couple. Many rituals are repeated three times to honor the Holy Trinity.
The sacrament of matrimony begins with a betrothal ceremony that includes the blessing and placing of the rings on the fingers (on the right hand, not the left) of the bride and groom by the priest. This signifies the bond in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit rather than in the name of a human agent. During the marriage ceremony proper, the crowning of the couple takes place. The bride and groom are given a cup of wine called "the common cup of joys and sorrows," which is not Holy Communion; the couple must have received Communion prior to the wedding day. In another ritual, the bride and groom, with the assistance of the best man, walk around the ceremonial table three times.
The essential text and faith of the Greek Orthodox Church and the Ukrainian Orthodox Church are the same, with slight variations in the wedding ceremony. In the Greek service, the best man assists with the crowning of the couple. Many rituals are repeated three times to honor the Holy Trinity.
The sacrament of matrimony begins with a betrothal ceremony that includes the blessing and placing of the rings on the fingers (on the right hand, not the left) of the bride and groom by the priest. This signifies the bond in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit rather than in the name of a human agent. During the marriage ceremony proper, the crowning of the couple takes place. The bride and groom are given a cup of wine called "the common cup of joys and sorrows," which is not Holy Communion; the couple must have received Communion prior to the wedding day. In another ritual, the bride and groom, with the assistance of the best man, walk around the ceremonial table three times.
Types of Wedding Ceremonies: German
"In Germany today, we have two basic religions, Protestant or Catholic (see Roman Catholic), so the services in the churches are basically the same as in North America," says Ingrid Scherer-Mohr, director for Canada of the German National Tourist Office. "We also have the lovely, old-fashioned, old city halls where emperors were crowned most of these buildings are about 400 years old, including the one in Frankfurt for civil weddings." According to Scherer-Mohr, there are about 10,000 castles and palaces in Germany, and many couples get married in old castles that have been transformed into hotels with wedding chapels. "Couples will have their service in a castle chapel and then the reception in the same castle. Germany has some 60 castle-hotels, many of them still run by some noble families."
As for the wedding ceremony, "It is still very popular to have the flowergirl and little boy throw real flower petals on the path down the aisle. On the way out, as they leave the church, these children precede the bride and groom. We never throw rice."
As for the wedding ceremony, "It is still very popular to have the flowergirl and little boy throw real flower petals on the path down the aisle. On the way out, as they leave the church, these children precede the bride and groom. We never throw rice."
Types of Wedding Ceremonies: Chinese
These days, the majority of Chinese weddings in Hong Kong, North America, and Europe are Western in style, with the brides in white gowns. If the ceremony is a church wedding, it would likely be Protestant or Catholic (see Roman Catholic). Traditional Chinese elements that might be incorporated into the celebrations could include a multi-course (e.g., 12 courses) Chinese banquet, and the bride wearing a traditional silk outfit, whether a long skirt and jacket or the form-fitting chiansam with high slits up the sides of the skirt.
The traditional tea ceremony is often also observed after the church ceremony. As with most traditions and cultures, interpretations will vary depending on local custom, family history, and personal taste. Generally, the tea ceremony is regarded as the traditional Chinese marriage ceremony where the bride and groom show their respect to their elders, especially acknowledging the importance of and thanks toward their parents. Sometimes tea is served to just the groom's parents and sometimes to both sets of parents. In Hong Kong, for instance, this tradition could take place in the main sitting room of the home of the groom's parents, with the bride dressed in a scarlet red, embroidered silk outfit and often wearing a veil, too. Usually, just the more immediate family gather for this. The bride and groom would kneel together and thank heaven and earth. The bride kowtows to the groom's parents (and sometimes to her own parents, too). The groom greets the bride's parents (often without kowtowing). The bride then serves tea to the groom's father and mother. In return, the groom's parents give her a valuable gift, such as a piece of jewelry (sometimes a family heirloom or a new piece) as a symbol of acceptance into the family. The bride then bows to the groom's siblings, starting with the eldest brother and his spouse. (The hierarchy is eldest to youngest, with males preceding females.) The bride then pours tea for them, and they, in return, present her with gifts such as jewelry or lucky money in a red envelope.
For a traditional wedding in China, there were many rituals that preceded the wedding day. But on the actual date of the ceremony, the bride generally would get dressed in a red silk outfit with a red veil and be transported to the groom's home in a boxy, covered, wheel-less rickshaw-like carriage carried by one person in front and one in back. The bride's special female assistant (well familiar with wedding etiquette) would walk alongside the carriage. The procession would include gifts to take to the new home: jewelry, the bride's trousseau, a wooden trousseau chest, bedroom furniture (except for the bed, which is provided by the groom), lots of meats and dumplings. Upon arrival at the groom's home, the groom and his male relatives and friends would come out to greet the bride. The curtained opening at the front of the bridal carriage would be lifted and the female matchmaker (not the bride's special assistant) would carry the bride, piggyback, into the home. Once inside, the bride and groom would worship the groom's ancestors, after which the tea ceremony would begin. The bride's special assistant would direct her as to the proper proceedings and tasks required of her. The bride would pour tea for the eldest first, which could be the groom's grandparents who would then give her a red envelope of lucky money. After pouring tea for the groom's parents, she would likely receive jewelry from them. When the tea ceremony was complete, the feasting would begin for the whole village or community. Throughout the tea ceremony, there would be no officiator or exchange of vows.
The traditional tea ceremony is often also observed after the church ceremony. As with most traditions and cultures, interpretations will vary depending on local custom, family history, and personal taste. Generally, the tea ceremony is regarded as the traditional Chinese marriage ceremony where the bride and groom show their respect to their elders, especially acknowledging the importance of and thanks toward their parents. Sometimes tea is served to just the groom's parents and sometimes to both sets of parents. In Hong Kong, for instance, this tradition could take place in the main sitting room of the home of the groom's parents, with the bride dressed in a scarlet red, embroidered silk outfit and often wearing a veil, too. Usually, just the more immediate family gather for this. The bride and groom would kneel together and thank heaven and earth. The bride kowtows to the groom's parents (and sometimes to her own parents, too). The groom greets the bride's parents (often without kowtowing). The bride then serves tea to the groom's father and mother. In return, the groom's parents give her a valuable gift, such as a piece of jewelry (sometimes a family heirloom or a new piece) as a symbol of acceptance into the family. The bride then bows to the groom's siblings, starting with the eldest brother and his spouse. (The hierarchy is eldest to youngest, with males preceding females.) The bride then pours tea for them, and they, in return, present her with gifts such as jewelry or lucky money in a red envelope.
For a traditional wedding in China, there were many rituals that preceded the wedding day. But on the actual date of the ceremony, the bride generally would get dressed in a red silk outfit with a red veil and be transported to the groom's home in a boxy, covered, wheel-less rickshaw-like carriage carried by one person in front and one in back. The bride's special female assistant (well familiar with wedding etiquette) would walk alongside the carriage. The procession would include gifts to take to the new home: jewelry, the bride's trousseau, a wooden trousseau chest, bedroom furniture (except for the bed, which is provided by the groom), lots of meats and dumplings. Upon arrival at the groom's home, the groom and his male relatives and friends would come out to greet the bride. The curtained opening at the front of the bridal carriage would be lifted and the female matchmaker (not the bride's special assistant) would carry the bride, piggyback, into the home. Once inside, the bride and groom would worship the groom's ancestors, after which the tea ceremony would begin. The bride's special assistant would direct her as to the proper proceedings and tasks required of her. The bride would pour tea for the eldest first, which could be the groom's grandparents who would then give her a red envelope of lucky money. After pouring tea for the groom's parents, she would likely receive jewelry from them. When the tea ceremony was complete, the feasting would begin for the whole village or community. Throughout the tea ceremony, there would be no officiator or exchange of vows.
Types of Wedding Ceremonies: Baha'i
Baha'is believe in a love match, not an arranged marriage. With this in mind, individuals must be free to choose their own mates. Prior to the wedding, a couple should get to know each other's character and learn to trust and care for each other. In North America, there is now a movement to have a maximum of a 96-day engagement period prior to marriage.
For a Baha'i wedding ceremony to proceed, the couple needs the consent of all living parents and, if adopted, the permission of birth parents if at all possible, as well as adoptive parents. Parental permission is deemed important in the sense that it is considered helpful in preserving unity within the extended family and therefore providing support and strength for the marriage. The marriage must also be approved by the spiritual assembly of the local Baha'i community.
A marriage certificate from the local municipal office or city hall must be obtained. The wedding ceremony itself is simple, lasting for about 20 to 40 minutes, depending on what Baha'i writings the couple would like to have read or any music that the couple wishes to have incorporated into the ceremony. Instead of attendants such as bridesmaids and ushers, the couple will choose two witnesses to stand with them. During the ceremony, the couple will each say the words, "We will all, verily, abide by the will of God," and Baha'i marriage prayers are available and selections are often read by the witnesses or family members at that time. Afterwards, there is usually a festive celebration to which the community as a whole is invited.
The Baha'is do not have ministers as such, but each community can select one or two persons from the local spiritual assembly to act as marriage officers handling the administration of weddings. Baha'i law states that couples can exchange something of "value" as a token of their love for each other; in North America, this is often interpreted to mean the exchange of rings. There is no particular dress code, although most people wear their best clothes at the wedding and the woman being married may choose to wear a bridal gown.
For a Baha'i wedding ceremony to proceed, the couple needs the consent of all living parents and, if adopted, the permission of birth parents if at all possible, as well as adoptive parents. Parental permission is deemed important in the sense that it is considered helpful in preserving unity within the extended family and therefore providing support and strength for the marriage. The marriage must also be approved by the spiritual assembly of the local Baha'i community.
A marriage certificate from the local municipal office or city hall must be obtained. The wedding ceremony itself is simple, lasting for about 20 to 40 minutes, depending on what Baha'i writings the couple would like to have read or any music that the couple wishes to have incorporated into the ceremony. Instead of attendants such as bridesmaids and ushers, the couple will choose two witnesses to stand with them. During the ceremony, the couple will each say the words, "We will all, verily, abide by the will of God," and Baha'i marriage prayers are available and selections are often read by the witnesses or family members at that time. Afterwards, there is usually a festive celebration to which the community as a whole is invited.
The Baha'is do not have ministers as such, but each community can select one or two persons from the local spiritual assembly to act as marriage officers handling the administration of weddings. Baha'i law states that couples can exchange something of "value" as a token of their love for each other; in North America, this is often interpreted to mean the exchange of rings. There is no particular dress code, although most people wear their best clothes at the wedding and the woman being married may choose to wear a bridal gown.
Types of Wedding Ceremonies: African-American
Most African-American weddings have Western-style church ceremonies these days, although there seems to be renewed interest in incorporating more traditional elements from the various cultures involved. Angela Lawrence, a Toronto-based magazine editor with a Jamaican background, had a Protestant ceremony. She says that a prominent feature would be the music, usually a gospel singer or gospel choir. Lawrence explains that the concept of an "Afro-centric flavor to a wedding" is mainly a North American idea that attempts to gain some connection with the cultural heritage by borrowing ideas from Africa or the Caribbean. This could be done through music drumming or through wardrobe. For instance, the wedding party might wear African garb such as tunic type gowns and headwraps. While the colorful fabrics and patterns may not necessarily come from the same region of Africa as the bride's and groom's own ancestry, what is important is the symbolism of remembering the Black roots in general.
One tradition that is making a comeback among today's African-Americans is known as "jumping the broom." Back in the days of slavery, African slaves were not allowed by law to marry because they were viewed merely as property, not people, and therefore had no rights. There was also the fear that if the slaves were allowed to marry and live together, their strength in numbers would grow and could lead to revolt. With some ingenuity, the slaves came up with "jumping the broom" to signify the couple's union. With their master's permission, a couple could gather with witnesses, declare their devotion to one another, and then jump over a broom to indicate their step into married life. Among many African peoples, the broom held significance because it represented the beginning of homemaking. While "jumping the broom" is fairly well-known in the United States, the practice is not as common in Canada not surprising, given the histories of the two countries.
At the turn of the century, another way for Black couples to show their commitment to one another was to cross sticks. The long, sturdy sticks, symbolizing the strength of trees, were crossed to signify the new union. Many traditions have links to African or Caribbean rituals. Sticks were used, too, for marriage ceremonies among the Samburu of Kenya; the groom would use them to brand the cattle that he gave to his bride. Cattle was also used as dowry for traditional Nigerian weddings.
One tradition that is making a comeback among today's African-Americans is known as "jumping the broom." Back in the days of slavery, African slaves were not allowed by law to marry because they were viewed merely as property, not people, and therefore had no rights. There was also the fear that if the slaves were allowed to marry and live together, their strength in numbers would grow and could lead to revolt. With some ingenuity, the slaves came up with "jumping the broom" to signify the couple's union. With their master's permission, a couple could gather with witnesses, declare their devotion to one another, and then jump over a broom to indicate their step into married life. Among many African peoples, the broom held significance because it represented the beginning of homemaking. While "jumping the broom" is fairly well-known in the United States, the practice is not as common in Canada not surprising, given the histories of the two countries.
At the turn of the century, another way for Black couples to show their commitment to one another was to cross sticks. The long, sturdy sticks, symbolizing the strength of trees, were crossed to signify the new union. Many traditions have links to African or Caribbean rituals. Sticks were used, too, for marriage ceremonies among the Samburu of Kenya; the groom would use them to brand the cattle that he gave to his bride. Cattle was also used as dowry for traditional Nigerian weddings.
Types of Wedding Ceremonies: Protestant
Certain Christian churches Anglican, Baptist, Presbyterian, United, and many others are denominations of the Protestant Church. "The Protestant Church has really only been in existence since the early 1500s," says Rev. Glenn Baker of Emmanuel United Church in Hamilton, Ontario. "That's when the Protestant Reformation occurred, so we've got that relatively short history there. The Protestant Church came out of the Roman Catholic Church, so all the traditions of the Catholic Church before that are part of our traditions, too."
At a Protestant wedding, before the ceremony begins, guests are likely to be greeted by ushers who will escort them to their seats in the church. The seating on the left side of the church facing the altar is reserved for the bride's family and friends, while the right side is reserved for the groom's. If one side is expected to outnumber the other by a great deal, the seating may be mixed. The front rows are reserved for immediate family members and special guests. Just before the ceremony is to begin, the bride's mother is the last person to be escorted to her seat. The minister gets into position at the head of the aisle, and the groom, best man, and ushers stand to the right of the altar. When the processional music begins, all the guests stand, and then the bridesmaids, maid/matron of honor, flowergirl, and ringbearer walk up the aisle, followed by the bride on her father's arm. The procession may vary from one church to another.
Throughout the service, the pastor generally will inform the guests about when they should stand or sit. There will be prayers and readings. If hymns are to be sung, guests may sing along with the music from the hymn books in the backs of the pews. Although singing is optional, people who feel uncomfortable singing should still stand if standing is required during the hymn. If the instructions of the officiator and the cues of other guests are followed, there shouldn't be a problem.
While it is not that common to see Communion served to all guests at a Protestant wedding, the practice is becoming more popular. "Of course, the Catholic Church has always celebrated Communion during wedding ceremonies," says Rev. Baker. "I don't know when the Protestant Church started getting away from serving Communion at weddings, but 12 or 15 years ago, it started coming back. It's still pretty rare in the United Church. I suppose, with a liturgical renewal across the Church, there has been an examination of how we worship and how we can make it more meaningful. I think that is how this started to come back in."
Communion, the commemoration of Christ's Last Supper, is the ceremony where bread and wine are consecrated and taken as the body and blood of Christ. Sometimes, only the bride and groom are served Communion. If Communion is offered to all guests, "passing the peace" (a.k.a. "the kiss of peace" or "the handshake of peace") may take place just beforehand, in which case everyone is encouraged to turn to their neighbors, shake their hands, and offer a friendly greeting. As for participation in Communion (eating the bread and drinking the wine), the officiator will indicate who is allowed to partake of the elements bread (pieces of bread or wafer) and wine (usually grape juice). Communion may be served to guests in their pews, or people may have to walk up the aisle to get the elements. Just observe and follow the example of other guests who are familiar with the proceedings. Guests can certainly choose to decline from participating in this.
At a Protestant wedding, before the ceremony begins, guests are likely to be greeted by ushers who will escort them to their seats in the church. The seating on the left side of the church facing the altar is reserved for the bride's family and friends, while the right side is reserved for the groom's. If one side is expected to outnumber the other by a great deal, the seating may be mixed. The front rows are reserved for immediate family members and special guests. Just before the ceremony is to begin, the bride's mother is the last person to be escorted to her seat. The minister gets into position at the head of the aisle, and the groom, best man, and ushers stand to the right of the altar. When the processional music begins, all the guests stand, and then the bridesmaids, maid/matron of honor, flowergirl, and ringbearer walk up the aisle, followed by the bride on her father's arm. The procession may vary from one church to another.
Throughout the service, the pastor generally will inform the guests about when they should stand or sit. There will be prayers and readings. If hymns are to be sung, guests may sing along with the music from the hymn books in the backs of the pews. Although singing is optional, people who feel uncomfortable singing should still stand if standing is required during the hymn. If the instructions of the officiator and the cues of other guests are followed, there shouldn't be a problem.
While it is not that common to see Communion served to all guests at a Protestant wedding, the practice is becoming more popular. "Of course, the Catholic Church has always celebrated Communion during wedding ceremonies," says Rev. Baker. "I don't know when the Protestant Church started getting away from serving Communion at weddings, but 12 or 15 years ago, it started coming back. It's still pretty rare in the United Church. I suppose, with a liturgical renewal across the Church, there has been an examination of how we worship and how we can make it more meaningful. I think that is how this started to come back in."
Communion, the commemoration of Christ's Last Supper, is the ceremony where bread and wine are consecrated and taken as the body and blood of Christ. Sometimes, only the bride and groom are served Communion. If Communion is offered to all guests, "passing the peace" (a.k.a. "the kiss of peace" or "the handshake of peace") may take place just beforehand, in which case everyone is encouraged to turn to their neighbors, shake their hands, and offer a friendly greeting. As for participation in Communion (eating the bread and drinking the wine), the officiator will indicate who is allowed to partake of the elements bread (pieces of bread or wafer) and wine (usually grape juice). Communion may be served to guests in their pews, or people may have to walk up the aisle to get the elements. Just observe and follow the example of other guests who are familiar with the proceedings. Guests can certainly choose to decline from participating in this.
Types of Wedding Ceremonies: Quaker (Religious Society of Friends)
Quakers, also called "Friends," do not participate in what would be considered typical Protestant services. In fact, Quakers do not use the words "ceremony" or "memorial." Instead, a service is called a "meeting." At the meeting house, Quakers worship in silent contemplation with punctuations of ministry from the participants as the spirit moves them to speak out loud. There is little formal structure to the meetings, and their length can vary, depending on the amount of ministry, from less than an hour to many hours.
When a couple decides to marry, the meeting is called "a meeting for worship for the celebration of marriage," the emphasis being placed on the idea of worship. Many Quaker meeting houses will provide non-Quakers with pamphlets describing the mode of service and history of the group. The meeting resembles a regular Quaker meeting until the point at which the man and woman wishing to marry feel that the moment is appropriate and they stand and declare their intention to marry. They make their vows to each other and are married by God. They then sign an often elaborately decorated copy of their declaration, which is then read aloud to family, friends, and members of the meeting house. A period of silence follows, during which participants pray for God's blessing for the couple. Anyone may rise during this time and speak in ministry. The meeting closes with the shaking of hands. "Afterwards, everyone signs the certificate," says Elmay Kirkpatrick of the Toronto Monthly Meeting. "There is a space left blank for people to sign because they all in fact were witnesses to the marriage." The couple must, however, follow up by signing a civil marriage certificate.
Most couples do not dress up for the service, nor are wedding rings a formal part of the ceremony. However, some couples today do introduce these elements.
For a look at the past, the Friends Meeting House, built in 1699, at Farewell and Marlborough streets in Newport, Rhode Island, is possibly the oldest Friends meeting house in America. (One or two others might compete for that distinction, but their dates are less clear.) According to Ron Potvin, curator of manuscripts at the Newport Historical Society, when a Quaker couple decided to marry, the man and woman "joined hands before the congregation and stated their intention to be married. It was more of a civil ceremony than a religious one. That's because Quakers did not believe in sacraments as other faiths do. It was contrary to the beliefs of Catholicism, where everything had to be sanctified by God through an elaborate ceremony. One of the basic beliefs of Protestantism was that people had an individual relationship with God that didn't require priests and sacraments. Newport, in its religious toleration (there were about 20 different Christian denominations here as well as Jews), was an extension of the Protestant Reformation in Europe."
The Quakers' custom of plainness also can be observed at the Friends' Meeting House located in Old Sturbridge Village in Sturbridge, Massachusetts. The building, which dates back to 1796, is typical in its deliberate lack of ornamentation. There are plain wooden pews, wood floors and windows, but the room is devoid of ornaments, drapery, or even symbols on the walls.
It's important to note that the Quakers should not be confused with the Shakers, who believed in celibacy. In the late-1700s, a small group of dissident English Quakers, noted for their trembling and shaking movements when they were moved by the spirit, became known as the Shaking Quakers, hence the name the Shakers.
When a couple decides to marry, the meeting is called "a meeting for worship for the celebration of marriage," the emphasis being placed on the idea of worship. Many Quaker meeting houses will provide non-Quakers with pamphlets describing the mode of service and history of the group. The meeting resembles a regular Quaker meeting until the point at which the man and woman wishing to marry feel that the moment is appropriate and they stand and declare their intention to marry. They make their vows to each other and are married by God. They then sign an often elaborately decorated copy of their declaration, which is then read aloud to family, friends, and members of the meeting house. A period of silence follows, during which participants pray for God's blessing for the couple. Anyone may rise during this time and speak in ministry. The meeting closes with the shaking of hands. "Afterwards, everyone signs the certificate," says Elmay Kirkpatrick of the Toronto Monthly Meeting. "There is a space left blank for people to sign because they all in fact were witnesses to the marriage." The couple must, however, follow up by signing a civil marriage certificate.
Most couples do not dress up for the service, nor are wedding rings a formal part of the ceremony. However, some couples today do introduce these elements.
For a look at the past, the Friends Meeting House, built in 1699, at Farewell and Marlborough streets in Newport, Rhode Island, is possibly the oldest Friends meeting house in America. (One or two others might compete for that distinction, but their dates are less clear.) According to Ron Potvin, curator of manuscripts at the Newport Historical Society, when a Quaker couple decided to marry, the man and woman "joined hands before the congregation and stated their intention to be married. It was more of a civil ceremony than a religious one. That's because Quakers did not believe in sacraments as other faiths do. It was contrary to the beliefs of Catholicism, where everything had to be sanctified by God through an elaborate ceremony. One of the basic beliefs of Protestantism was that people had an individual relationship with God that didn't require priests and sacraments. Newport, in its religious toleration (there were about 20 different Christian denominations here as well as Jews), was an extension of the Protestant Reformation in Europe."
The Quakers' custom of plainness also can be observed at the Friends' Meeting House located in Old Sturbridge Village in Sturbridge, Massachusetts. The building, which dates back to 1796, is typical in its deliberate lack of ornamentation. There are plain wooden pews, wood floors and windows, but the room is devoid of ornaments, drapery, or even symbols on the walls.
It's important to note that the Quakers should not be confused with the Shakers, who believed in celibacy. In the late-1700s, a small group of dissident English Quakers, noted for their trembling and shaking movements when they were moved by the spirit, became known as the Shaking Quakers, hence the name the Shakers.
Types of Wedding Ceremonies: Roman Catholic
There are basically two types of service: a wedding ceremony without a Mass; or a wedding ceremony incorporated into the Mass. The first option, about 20 minutes in length, is quite straightforward, with readings and hymns, similar to the Protestant service. The second option may take just over an hour.
As Catholics enter the church, they bless themselves by dipping the fingertips of their right hand into a font containing holy water, then they make the sign of the cross, touching their forehead, heart, left shoulder, and right shoulder. Other guests, who are not required to do this, may simply proceed into the church or be guided to their seats by the ushers. Some Catholics, on arrival at the pew, may make the sign of the cross while genuflecting (bending the knee as a sign of reverence). Some may go directly to their seats and sit down while others may kneel and pray before sitting; either is acceptable. While non-Catholics are welcome to genuflect, they are not required to observe all these signs of respect and awareness of the body of Christ present in the church.
Throughout the Mass, take your cues from those around you. The priest will also give instructions. There will be readings and prayers. At times, you will be required to stand. Sometimes, there may be kneeling, but non-Catholic guests can just sit quietly while others kneel. When the congregation is invited to participate in the recitation out loud of the Lord's Prayer, Protestants should be aware that Roman Catholics omit the final few lines: "For Thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, forever and ever." During the wedding ceremony, vows and rings are exchanged. Just before Communion is served, there will be the "sign of peace": the priest might say, "Let us offer each other a sign of peace," and that is an indication for everyone to turn to their neighbors, shake their hands, and say, "Peace be with you" or some other friendly greeting. Sometimes, relatives or very close friends will hug and a mother may kiss her child at this point.
Communion in the Roman Catholic Church is technically reserved for baptized Catholics only. The priest will indicate what the local custom is. Communion, the commemoration of Christ's Last Supper, is the ceremony in which bread and wine are consecrated and taken as the body and blood of Christ. To take Communion, people walk down the center aisle to take the bread (often a wafer) and come back up the sides to their seats.
After Communion, the signing of the register takes place. When that is done, the priest introduces the newly married couple. At this point, sometimes people will applaud, depending on local custom.
As Catholics enter the church, they bless themselves by dipping the fingertips of their right hand into a font containing holy water, then they make the sign of the cross, touching their forehead, heart, left shoulder, and right shoulder. Other guests, who are not required to do this, may simply proceed into the church or be guided to their seats by the ushers. Some Catholics, on arrival at the pew, may make the sign of the cross while genuflecting (bending the knee as a sign of reverence). Some may go directly to their seats and sit down while others may kneel and pray before sitting; either is acceptable. While non-Catholics are welcome to genuflect, they are not required to observe all these signs of respect and awareness of the body of Christ present in the church.
Throughout the Mass, take your cues from those around you. The priest will also give instructions. There will be readings and prayers. At times, you will be required to stand. Sometimes, there may be kneeling, but non-Catholic guests can just sit quietly while others kneel. When the congregation is invited to participate in the recitation out loud of the Lord's Prayer, Protestants should be aware that Roman Catholics omit the final few lines: "For Thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, forever and ever." During the wedding ceremony, vows and rings are exchanged. Just before Communion is served, there will be the "sign of peace": the priest might say, "Let us offer each other a sign of peace," and that is an indication for everyone to turn to their neighbors, shake their hands, and say, "Peace be with you" or some other friendly greeting. Sometimes, relatives or very close friends will hug and a mother may kiss her child at this point.
Communion in the Roman Catholic Church is technically reserved for baptized Catholics only. The priest will indicate what the local custom is. Communion, the commemoration of Christ's Last Supper, is the ceremony in which bread and wine are consecrated and taken as the body and blood of Christ. To take Communion, people walk down the center aisle to take the bread (often a wafer) and come back up the sides to their seats.
After Communion, the signing of the register takes place. When that is done, the priest introduces the newly married couple. At this point, sometimes people will applaud, depending on local custom.
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