Bridal budgets: average wedding costs $19,000

Last year, newlyweds spent an average of $19,000 on everything from their engagement ring to the honeymoon, according to Brides magazine. Such averages can be misleading, however, since every wedding carries the signature of its bride and groom. Where one couple might skimp on flowers and food and put most of the $19,000 into music and favors for 300, another could serve 50 first-class and save the rest for a trip to Jamaica.

"Some brides don't care about anything but the (disc jockey)," said one wedding consultant. "What I've found is that what couples decide to invest in says a lot about who they are as a couple."

Here's how some couples set priorities for a wedding day that would set the tone for a happy lifetime together:

Alecia Parker and John Jewitt

• Big day: Jan. 2, 1999
  
• Budget: $ 5,500
  
• Guiding philosophy: Simple elegance
  

With six members of the grooms family traveling to the wedding from his home country of England, the couple wanted to showcase cultural traditions of both nations. Keeping the wedding small helped to keep the British-American representation in check. Holding the wedding and reception at the James Brice House fit the bill, not only for its Colonial American significance, but also be cause Ms. Parker - an employee of the Historic Annapolis Foundation - was able to rent it at a discount.

Bridal bargains: The No. 1 moneysaver was the fact that Ms. Parker's brother volunteered to cater the event, followed closely by the fact that the couple kept their guest list to 50. A friend designed the floral arrangements using seasonal flora from her front yard. The couple opted for a $ 650 photography package with fewer photographs and smaller prints.

Splurge: The cake. The couple wanted three tiers and they wanted it to taste good. They spent $ 200 - a major chunk of their budget - on an almond pound cake with buttercream frosting from the Main Ingredient. "For me, the cake was more important than the dinner," Ms. Parker said. "It's the last thing you eat."

Deborah and Rick Van den Berg

• Big Day: Nov. 20, 1998
  
• Budget: $ 23,000
  
• Guiding philosophy: Quality over quantity.
  
  

It would have been easy to let the guest list grow to more than 250 people, but the longtime Annapolis residents decided early on to tighten it to 155. Holding the wedding at the Kent Manor Inn - the sight of the couple's first dinner date - was a way to draw friends and family into a weekend-long celebration and meet their ultimate goal: "We wanted everybody to have a good time," Mrs. van den Berg said.

Bridal bargains: By getting married on a Friday evening rather than a Saturday, the couple saved $700. They choose in-season wildflowers, rather than $15 a hit lilies. They skipped both the limousine and wedding favors and received their honeymoon - a threeweek scuba diving trip to Roatan off Honduras - as a gift from a family member.

Splurge: The reception. At $60 per plate, it kept the guest list under control. "When I sat down and tallied it all up, I was shocked," Mrs. van den Berg said. "If someone had told me I'd spend that much I'd have said that's crazy. But it was so worth it."