Make special arrangements for kids at weddings

When George and Jill planned their September wedding, they decided not to include children on the guest list.

"It was cost and also because we have so many children in our families," said Jill, adding, "I thought parents would enjoy themselves more if they didn't have to worry about their kids. "

Thus, the only children at their wedding were the two flower girls - Melissa's half-sisters - and the ring bearer.

The issue of whether to invite entire families or just adults to a wedding can be a touchy one. While some parents relish the notion of a few hours of dining and dancing without the little ones clutching their knees, others may be highly offended that their four offspring were not invited to the festivities as well.

Likewise some couples wouldn't dream of planning a major gathering of the clan like a wedding without including the youngest relatives.

Wedding etiquette dictates that it is strictly up to the bride and groom whether to invite some, all or no children to their nuptials. But this prerogative is not always recognized or happily accepted by other family members and guests.

Addressing an invitation simply to Mr. and Mrs., or whatever names the parents go by, should be enough to indicate exactly who is invited. If children are to be included, their names should be written on the inside envelope of the invitation. Example: Mr. and Mrs. Smith/Jennifer and Kyle.

Not all people are aware of this rule of etiquette, however. To avoid any misunderstandings, invitations could read "Adult reception to follow at . " This is an acceptable way of clearly conveying the "no children" rule, say wedding experts.

If you are going to invite children, experts advise that you have things for them to do. Some couples have set up special tables covered with cloths that can be colored or stocked with coloring books, crayons and puzzles. If there is no room for separate tables, you could make up little gift bags for the children with things like a little coloring book, crayons, a miniature puzzle...These can be used at their place at any table.

Another option for overseeing children during a reception is to arrange for a babysitter to take children off to a guest room where they can watch movies, play board games, have snacks or nap.