Types of Wedding Ceremonies: Muslim

"Followers of Islam adhere to a religion that is worldwide, so that although the basic format of the wedding ceremony is the same, there will be differences among the different cultures," says Haroon Salamat, chairman of Toronto and Region Islamic Congregation (TARIC).

Here are some important points to help in understanding the service. The offer of marriage comes from the female, usually through her father or another male relative. There must be no collusion; the couple must agree to marry of their own free will. Muslim women must marry Muslim men; however, Muslim men may marry non-Muslim women, but their children must be raised Muslim. After accepting an offer of marriage, a groom will give his bride a mahr, a gift. It can be property, a home, jewelry, or even something such as education. (In cases where the groom's family is not very well off financially, the groom, who may be better educated than the bride, may give the gift of literacy, offering to teach his bride how to read and write to help improve her lot.) Unless the marriage breaks up before the wedding is consummated or only lasts a very short time, the gift remains the bride's and she can use it as she pleases.

At the wedding, the bride and groom are separated, either in different parts of the hall or in different rooms. They may or may not be able to see each other. Guests are also separated by gender, although in some Western cultures, the groups may be mixed. The wali, the bride's representative, comes forward for the ceremony. He will answer for the bride when questioned by the officiator. The groom, representing himself, also joins the wali and the officiator. At the ceremony, "once the proposal has been accepted and the gift has been agreed upon and the person overseeing the ceremony believes the couple are marrying of their own will, he pronounces them man and wife," says Salamat. "It takes about five minutes. The basic ceremony is very simple." Any Muslim who understands the traditions of Islam may perform the ceremony, although many mosques have marriage officers who can oversee marriages on behalf of the province/state. "The most important thing for a Muslim is to be married in the eyes of God."

Congratulating the bride or groom with a kiss on the cheek after the service may be frowned upon, although that, too, may be changing in some Western cultures. Take cues from the guests who are more familiar with the culture.