Wiccan High Priestess Leanne Haze of Toronto, Ontario, says, "Wicca is an association of autonymous covens, so even though the ceremony will be 8,000 years old, each coven will have its own flavor in the presentation." Wiccans refer to weddings as handfastings, because in a part of the ceremony the bride's and groom's hands are tied together as a symbol that their love will bind them together and to the gods. The handfasting is performed usually by a high priestess and sometimes by a high priest.
Haze provides these guidelines for guests who attend handfastings. "Do not bring your ego in. Dress comfortably, because there's a lot of standing and dancing in a circle. We usually do it outdoors in a field, in someone's backyard, or in the woods, so stiletto heels are out." She also warns guests "not to be too shocked if the bride and groom show up naked. But a lot of times, when outsiders or non-initiates are invited, the couple wears clothes not always, but sometimes." Although the bride and groom are naked, Haze reassures guests that the couple does not engage in sexual activity during the ceremony. The naked groom represents consciousness and all masculine powers while the naked bride represents subconsciousness and all feminine powers. The nakedness symbolizes both sides not hiding anything from each other. When consciousness and subconsciousness are working together, harmony results. "That creates a wholesome human being."
Guests should also be aware of circle etiquette when doing the circle dance, which involves everyone holding hands. "You don't let go of someone's hand (e.g., to scratch your nose) because you don't want to break the circuit," explains Haze. "It's more powerful if the circle is kept intact. If you do need to break the circle because you're dizzy, for example you step into the circle (still holding hands), get the two people whose hands you're holding to connect behind you, and then you can sit down inside the circle." Haze has been involved in circle dances ranging from 12 to 200 people.
She explains that publishing the words of any Wiccan ceremony breaks Wiccan laws. "All Wiccan liturgies are written on two levels, so they can't be taken literally on just the surface. Without the inner meaning, which you can only get through initiation, you don't understand the full impact and know the inner process. The words are an analogy to what's really going on inside a person. That's only revealed within the initiates' circle."
According to Lois Devine, a high priestess from Salem, Massachusetts, who has been practicing the religion for 28 years, a good rule of thumb when attending a Wiccan handfasting is to ask what to wear. "The couple may have different themes. Some may want you to dress in earth tones, others may want period costumes from the Renaissance, or they may prefer you wear black," says Devine. The handfasting begins when the circle is cast. Because it is a nature-based religion, the elements of earth, fire, water, and air are called upon by the high priest or priestess. Symbols used in the handfasting include a consecrated cup filled with water, juice, or wine, which represents the female, and a ritual dagger, or athame, which represents the male. "At some point, the dagger is usually dipped into the cup to represent fertility, not just of the couple, but for everything in their life. It's the same as throwing rice," explains Devine. Like many modern couples, the bride and groom may write their own vows or compile a ceremony from many different sources. The handfasting may last from 30 minutes to more than an hour and ends when the circle is broken as the high priest or priestess walks around the circle with the dagger pointed outward.
A handfasting, says Haze, is "a great celebration of love and life, so the more lighthearted you are, the more you'll get out of it and the bigger the blessing you'll receive. Wicca is a great mystery, but the key to that mystery is love love for all living beings. If the ceremony is performed properly, everyone should experience a balancing of their own inner and outer nature."
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